Endless, Forever Read Online Free PDF Page A

switch, he leaned against the counter with his arms crossed, head cocked to the side.  “So.”
    “Right, yeah.  So.”  Oliver scrubbed his face. “You met Leo before this?  Or is this your first introduction?  Because I’d like to tell you he’s not always like this, but that would be a bloody lie.”
    Gabe’s grin widened, his head shaking.  “He and I have known each other a while.  We belong to the same trans group.”
    Oliver blinked.  “Trans group.”
    Going a little pale in the cheeks, Gabe cleared his throat.  “Yeah.  It’s a group for trans people—inclusive of agender and genderfluid.  Did he…did you not know that?  About him?”
    “Oh,” Oliver said, letting out a breath of air.  “Christ no, I knew that.”
    Gabe gave him a relieved look.  “Sorry, I thought for a moment I outed him and that is a big no in our group.  Not everyone there is out, but Leo talks about you a lot so I just assumed.”
    “I’ve known for ages,” Oliver said, reaching into the box for a packet of the tea.  Ripping off the edge, he opened a cabinet and found mugs and helped himself to two.  “What about you then?  If you don’t mind my asking.  Your pronouns I mean,” he clarified when Gabe’s brow dipped a little.
    “Oh, just he is fine.  I’m a trans man.”  Gabe reached into a drawer, passing Oliver a spoon, then slid a small, plastic bear full of honey onto the counter.
    Oliver contemplated it as he took the spoon.  He’d never dated a trans person before, but he’d known a fair few, and Gabe was cute.  He still got butterflies in his stomach when he thought of the earlier flirting at the café, and as he added the honey, he knew he was certain he’d like it to continue.
    “Well I’m sorry about all this, you know.  I’ve been trying to get him to slow down, but he’s so bloody self-destructive.”
    Gabe shrugged.  “It happens.  He’s shared a bit about your history…mother in particular.”
    Just the word mother sent a sharp wave of nausea through Oliver, and he clutched his mug, the heat of the ceramic grounding him a little.  “Yeah, she’s a real darling, let me tell you.  But I’m hoping he’ll get his head straight soon.  He’s inches away from academic probation and the fucking wanker is one more unidentified drug snort away from the bloody morgue.  I’m convinced of it.”
    Gabe gave Oliver a soft look, reaching over after a minute to give his shoulder a squeeze.  “A lot of us have been there.  The group will probably help.”
    Oliver sipped his tea, then let Gabe lead them to the living room where he sat down, finding the couch as comfortable as he thought it would be.  He kicked one foot up onto the low coffee table and turned to face Gabe, who was sitting a cushion away.  “He’s been with you lot nearly a year now, and I swear he’s getting worse.  I’m not sure what he’s trying to accomplish.”
    “Well, you won’t be able to help him until he wants it, you know.”
    “Thank you, psych one-oh-one,” Oliver sneered, then felt instantly bad when Gabe’s face fell.  “Look, I…I’m sorry.  I’ve been looking out for him nearly his whole life, and I’m not going to stop now, but I’m exhausted.”
    “Eventually he’s going to have to learn to fall on his own,” Gabe warned him.
    Oliver leveled a look at him, one eyebrow up.  “And what if he falls so hard he doesn’t get back up?  You expect me to live with that?”
    “Yes,” Gabe said slowly, inching over just a little.  “You can’t live for him, you know.  People who want to die will find a way.”
    “Thanks for that, mate,” Oliver said, tipping his mug and feeling his stomach attempt to crawl out of his mouth.  “I’ll sleep soundly tonight.”
    “I don’t mean to sound like an asshole,” Gabe insisted.  “But I’ve learned the hard way that there’s nothing you can do.  And if you destroy your life in the meantime, what’s going to be left for