angle complete.â
âItâs bad enough that I look like a reptile with my burnt face, Rick, I sure donât need to look like an evil reptile. This guy looks satanic.â
âSorry, Val. I just thought maybe youâd be interested.â He gingerly lifts the magazine from my hands.
âI am still human you know, Rick. Forked tongues are fine on lizards, but Iâm not really a lizard, remember?â
âSorry, Valentine.â He presses a hand down on his dirty-blond hair and closes his eyes.
âJust like youâre not really made of dough, like youâre not really a pretzel. Got it?â
âSorry, Valentine. Iâm really sorry.â
He slinks off, feet splayed outward, a little like Gumby, only with pockets. He sinks his hands in them. I feel bad, but you have to make some people remember youâre a human being. Itâs an occupational hazard, I suppose.
âI just didnât think Iâd have to do that with Rick,â I say to Lella after telling her all about it as I brush her auburn hair back into a high ponytail. Lella is stunning. Iâve never seen anyone prettier.
âValentine, were you nice to him?â
âNot really.â
âBe gentle with his heart. Even a three-year-old could see that Rick is awfully fond of you.â
âWhich leads me to believe he stretches his optic nerves out of shape as well.â
âOh, Valentine!â But Lella laughs.
I finish her hair, pat on some light makeup, and dress her in a yellow fleece top and a pair of sweatpants I cut off and sewed across the bottom. âIâll go get dressed and then bring you down for some breakfast.â
âIâm not at all hungry yet. Would you mind just turning on the TV? Robert Schuller is on soon. I dearly love that man.â
âLella, you and your TV preachers.â
âNow, Valentine, donât begrudge me my pastors.â
I turn on the TV and find the right channel. âHe looks like a leprechaun.â
She just laughs.
âThey all look like leprechauns.â
âOh, Valentine, that simply isnât true. I can think of at least two that look like trolls.â
I back into the hallway, leaving her door open.
Blaze calls up two flights of stairs. Sheâs that loud. âIâm going to church! You want to come?â
âYeah right!â
âJust figured Iâd ask!â
âIâll make dinner tonight!â
âThanks!â
I watch her back her station wagon out of view.
Lighting a cigarette, I head to the bathroom. Itâs a cramped space under the attic stairs in the hallway. The doorâs in my room, thus making it my own commode. Itâs a good thing, having my own commode. Just before entering the glorified closet, I start up iTunes on my laptop and the tones of my favorite song enter the quiet space beneath the steps.
âEmbrace me, my sweet embraceable you.â
Lady Day, sliding up and down the notes, swings the words in the gentle circles of a parent grasping the hands of her toddler and twirling around like the swing ride at the fair.
I grab a pot of Ponds and look in the mirror. Imagine a purple-red alligator purse. I have hardly any lips left, except on the left side. My skin is dry. I rub in the moisturizing cream, sighing with a small relief.
Itâs too bad I didnât have insurance when it all went down.
After I dress I head down for breakfast. Iâd like to detail a quaint B&B or farmhouse meal, but Iâd be lying. Breakfast at Blazeâs table consists of a gallon of milk, a box of shredded wheatâthe big biscuits you break up with your fingersâand a pot of coffee.
She doesnât mind if we use her kitchen as long as we clean up the mess and whatever you do, donât leave the metal cabinets open. I donât feel like cooking, so I shred up a cereal biscuit, pour on the milk, and let it soak while I fix a cup of coffee. I load in cream