Elephant Bangs Train Read Online Free PDF Page A

bedroom and he stepped aside. Cleaning Lady Pronko came through in pink fur slippers. She had a face like a bulldog and knees like walnuts.
    'Don'tchoo go no place wittout doin' dem dishes,' she said, pointing to Spider's cup and saucer.
    'Here, man.' Spider threw his cup into the sink, where it shattered.
    'The Boy Scout,' said Cleaning Lady Pronko, slapping past them into the bathroom.
    Spider walked into the bedroom and opened a bureau drawer.
    'Should I bring the rod?'
    'No,' said Twiller. Spider's rod was a cap pistol with its chamber bored for real bullets. Gene Autry's face was on the handle and a thick rubber band was wound around it and over the hammer, giving it enough force to shoot a .22 calibre shell. When fired the bullets came out of the barrel sideways in a ball of flame. On their last camping trip Spider fired it into a pile of leaves and burned the woods down.
    'Yeah, I'd better leave it,' he said, closing the drawer, 'I'm low on ammo.' He went back to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, taking out a bunch of bananas and a loaf of bread, which he dropped into a paper bag.
    The bathroom door opened. Cleaning Lady Pronko stepped out and grabbed the bag from Spider. 'Where you goin' wittat?'
    'On a goddamn camping Boy Scout trip!' Spider grabbed the bag back and kicked the refrigerator door shut. A small plastic madonna trembled on top of the box. 'Let's blow,' he said. They went out the door and up the steps.
    'When ya comin' back?' called Cleaning Lady Pronko.
    Twiller turned to answer, but Spider took him by the elbow. 'Just keep walkin', man.'
    They walked up the street and into a narrow alleyway, where they stopped at a small white house among the garages. 'Crutch' Kane was waiting for them on the porch.
    'Morning, fellas,' he said and, swinging a pack on to his shoulders, limped down the stairs. He'd been run over by a beer truck several years back, and his right knee was the size of a grapefruit. His mother waved from the front door.
    'Goodbye, Stanley.'
    ' Goodbye, Stanley ,' mocked Spider Pronko, smudging Crutch's glasses with two fingers. Crutch's mother often used Cleaning Lady Pronko around the house.
    They walked up the alley on to the brick avenue and marched along on the streetcar tracks, Spider singing
    She jumped in bed
    And covered up her head
    And said I couldn't find her
    I knew damn well she lied like hell
    and I jumped in bed behind her
    Twiller and Crutch were wearing their Boy Scout uniforms. Spider wore a black sweat shirt and dungarees. The Scouts of Troop 7 were gathering at the end of the block in front of the old stone church. Spider ran into the crowd. Twiller and Crutch followed, slinging their packs against the wall of the church. A large man with braids on his shoulders and badges on his hat blew a whistle. The patrol leaders gave their commands:
    'Beaver Patrol, fall in!'
    'Flying Eagle Patrol, fall in!'
    'Water Snake Patrol, fall in!'
    'Fox Patrol, fall in!'
    'Lone Wolf Patrol,' said Twiller, 'fall in!' Crutch Kane fell in. Spider Pronko was gone.
    'Report your patrols,' said Scoutmaster Ramsey, removing a notebook from his vest pocket.
    'Beaver Patrol, all present and accounted for, sir!'
    'Flying Eagle Patrol, all present and accounted for, sir!'
    'Water Snake Patrol, all present and accounted for, sir!'
    'Fox Patrol, all present and accounted for, sir!'
    'Lone Wolf Patrol,' said Twiller, 'one man missing, sir.'
    'Where is he?'
    'Latrine, sir.'
    'See that he gets in line. All right, fellows, stand by. We're loading the cars in a few minutes.'
    Twiller did not attempt to get Spider Pronko in line. Twiller had no advanced rank in the troop as he was unable to identify birds, and if he gave Spider the command to fall in, he might get punched out.
    Mister Snow, the senior adviser of the troop, waved to Twiller and Crutch. 'In this car, men.' They picked up their gear and climbed into the back seat of his car. Mister Snow was an expert on birds and Twiller was afraid of