Eat Your Heart Out Read Online Free PDF Page B

too.
    I didn’t call her the next day.
    I kept thinking that I would, but then I just didn’t. I kept telling myself I was going to call, but I didn’t. Surprised myself with that one.
    A couple of days passed. She didn’t call me either. So I stopped feeling bad and I just got real mad. I knew I’d made a mistake, but the stuff she said was out of line. And who was she to say all that to me after everything I’d done, you know?
    She could pretend she wasn’t asking for it, but she was. Then she just got scared. That’s what happened. I know I did wrong, but I was drunk. She did some wrong too, she just didn’t want to admit it. Women are always being like that.
    I went to the bar a few days later, not hoping I’d see her or anything, just to get a drink. Barkeep told me she hadn’t been in for about a week or so. I didn’t care. It’s not like I was looking for her.
    One night I picked up this blonde at the bar. I’d known the lady for a little while and she was always making eyes at me, but when I was sitting with Maggie I’d ignore her. I wasn’t reading and definitely felt like talking.
    â€œHi there,” she said.
    â€œHi,” I said back.
    â€œI seen you around here. Where’s your little girlfriend?”
    â€œShe wasn’t my girlfriend.”
    â€œDaughter?”
    â€œYou’re being smart.” There was no fucking way I looked old enough to be Maggie’s dad.
    â€œYeah, I am.”
    â€œMy niece.”
    â€œMind if I join you?”
    â€œNot at all.”
    She sat across from me. I knew where it was going from the moment we started talking. But when I was sitting across from this blonde, staring at her mug, a part of me was wishing I was sitting with Maggie.
    After a few beers, I guess I didn’t mind so much.
    â€œSo this is your place, huh?”
    â€œYeah.”
    The blonde looked worse out of the bar. Her face was more wrinkled than I’d thought, and her body had real thickness in the middle. But I was pretty drunk, and beggars just can’t be choosers.
    â€œIt’s nice.”
    â€œNot really.”
    â€œNo, it’s nicer than my place.”
    â€œWell, that says something.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œNothing. Do you want another drink?”
    The lady looked at me real salacious. I knew she did not need another drink.
    So we got down to business, you get my drift? But I just wasn’t enjoying it. I wasn’t enjoying it at all. I don’t know if it was the booze, or the lady, but I couldn’t stop seeing Maggie’s face every time I closed my eyes.
    And it wasn’t like I was seeing her in a sexual way. I was seeing that face she gave me that night, staring at me. I couldn’t get her out of my head. I think the lady caught on after a couple of minutes.
    â€œYou okay?” she asks.
    â€œYeah, I’m fine, it’s just the rubber. I can’t . . . I’ve been drinking, I’m sorry.”
    I rolled off her; there was no point in keeping going. I couldn’t anyway. Not with Maggie’s face haunting me like that.
    The lady looked disappointed. I should’ve offered to do something for her, but I couldn’t be bothered and about twenty minutes later she left.
    I called Maggie. She didn’t pick up, so I left her a message. Her voice sounded different on the message than I remembered, younger or something.
    â€œHi, kid, it’s Rich. Look, I been meaning to call you, and I know I haven’t. I just wanted to say I’m sorry. About everything. Call me back and we’ll talk about it. Okay, kid?”
    Then I hung up, and I felt satisfied, knowing she would call me back.
    Maggie did not call me back for a week.
    At first I figured, you know, give her a little time. She’ll call. Then a little later, I thought, Just give her a little more time. She’s just digesting what you said.
    But no.
    A fucking week