her sit in, get familiar with the weekday format.”
“Why?”
“We had this conversation last night.”
“Yes, and last night you said nothing had been decided, which made me believe an offer hadn’t yet been made.”
“Not officially, no.”
My stomach’s in knots again. This is bad, and it’s getting worse. “So what’s the unofficial word?”
Glenn holds my gaze. We have this odd love-hate relationship, and it’s been this way for the past six years. He’s good at
what he does. “You can’t carry the show anymore.”
“So that’s it? I’m toast?”
“You’re not toast.”
“I am if you haven’t even given me a chance to address the problems and you’ve turned control over to someone else— ”
“We need input.”
“Great, then come to me. Talk to me. Ask me. Instead you’ve spent months telling me everything’s fine, when nothing’s fine.
You insisted it was temporary, a blip, and even though I asked if we could sit down and brainstorm some ideas, you said no,
not to worry.” I swallow hard. “But I should have worried.” I realize now how irresponsible it was not to worry.
Why did I stop being proactive with my career?
Why did I think I was secure?
Glenn leans back in his chair. “You don’t like the party piece, or the prison wedding scandal. You don’t like the stories
that the viewers do.”
“What happened to real news, Glenn? We don’t even attempt news stories anymore.”
“America loves its celebrities.”
“And children love sweets. But that doesn’t mean we let babies eat only candy.”
He smiles.
“Glenn, do you know how long it’s been since we did a really interesting story? One that made people feel? One that made people
care?”
“Is this about your Alicia Keys profile again, because I did run it by the heads, but they don’t think a story about antiretroviral
medicine will help the ratings.”
“You didn’t even let me present the idea.”
“AIDS stories overwhelm your average American.”
“It might overwhelm us, but it’s killing Africa!”
He just looks at me.
“Glenn, we’ll run stories on how young Hollywood parties, but we won’t show Alicia Keys’s involvement with Keep A Child Alive,
a nonprofit that’s saving lives?”
“It sounds bad, I know.”
“It is bad. Come on, fight with me on this one. What about a show for Christmas or the New Year featuring celebs with heart?
Stars who are involved with life-changing charities, and we’ll run one story every day leading up to Christmas.”
“Would it be bouncy? Fun?”
“There was a time we had an award-winning show and produced award-winning stories.” I’m referring to the Emmy Awards that
Glenn and I both earned four years ago after doing a story on the heartbreaking decline of a former A-list star. No one knew
where he’d gone, but after a tip, I tracked him down in Camarillo. The former star, a man who’d made thirty films over twenty
years and won an Oscar and been nominated for three, had been abandoned, penniless and senile. His children, named custodians
of his estate, dropped him off at the home and that was the end of that.
Until I showed up with my cameraman and microphone.
“Let’s do good stories again, Glenn.” I clasp my hands together. “Let’s not be like the other shows. Let’s be what we’re meant
to be.”
Glenn’s smile fades and he looks at me for a long moment. “Are you not happy here anymore, Tiana?”
I shift impatiently. Life isn’t black or white, it’s full of shades of gray. “Of course I’m happy— ”
“Then let’s stick with the format that earns us the best ratings, which means Hollywood banter and celeb chatter.”
Meeting over, I head downstairs to the Starbucks in the lobby for a proper cup of coffee. Usually Madison offers to run down
for me, but I need to get out for a few minutes, get some air. Hollywood banter and celebrity chatter. Oh, my God. Is this
what I aspired to