Drowning Tucson Read Online Free PDF

attacked him. Slut. She could’ve at least let me grab my change before hauling off and kicking my ass like that. If the boys only knew he’d gotten beat up by a woman. Hey, I got caught with my cock in my hand.
    Now that he was fully awake, he realized he had some decisions to make. He had no ID, so he couldn’t get work. He had no money, so hecouldn’t eat. He was beaten before he had even started. It was bad planning, taking off from school like an idiot. He knew he had no choice but to go home. That terrified him more than anything. If he had never expressed interest in the Kings, then they wouldn’t have cared if he decided not to join them. But they had let him into their circle. He had shared in the benefits and now he had to do his time. Goddam, and I went along without even questioning it. He didn’t want to think about it, so he began walking north until he came to a street he recognized. Still unsure of exactly where he was, Felipe stopped at a 7-Eleven and asked for directions back to Reid Park. On his way out, he swiped a bag of chips and a pack of Parliaments.
    Three hours later the pack was half gone, but he was only a couple miles from home, so instead of smoking he slowed his pace and thought of excuses to tell the Kings when they came looking for him.
    Guys. I’m sorry. I got sunstroke or something and went out of my head.
    Jesus, that was lame.
    There was a rumor that you had been rounded up and arrested.
    Nope. If that were true, he would have gotten a call from home or one of his brothers would have picked him up. He was so consumed with excuses he didn’t notice a school bus drive by full of kids from Mansfield. They pointed, unable to believe he was back.
    Okay, Peanut. Rogelio. Chuy. Davíd. You have to believe me. I thought instead of the usual assbeating, I would sneak onto someone else’s turf—the Crips or something—and I was gonna off one of those niggers and tag him. You know, let those bastards know the Kings are here to stay and you cannot fuck with us. It could work, except that he had done nothing. He had nothing to show for his night away except some bruises.
    Then he thought about his mother and how maybe he could just go home and she’d step in between him and his brothers like she’d done with his father and she’d let him sleep with her in her bed where he could hide, except that wouldn’t work because he’d eventually have to go to the bathroom or something and so he’d have to leave her side, and they’d be waiting to drag him out the back door, or the food would runout so his mother would have to go to Food Giant, and if he went with her they’d pick him off, holding her at a distance while they punished him for backing down.
    GODDAMMIT. Why can’t I just tell them the truth? How about, FUCK Peanut and the Kings? Okay? I was scared. This isn’t for me. I just want to be normal. Lay girls. Buy a car. Flip burgers. I don’t want to be scared the rest of my life. That’s not how a man lives. I want to do things I can be proud of one day. I don’t want that stupid tattoo on my neck that proves I’m stone cold. Just leave me alone.
    Hey, Felipe. Ricardo ran up to him. Man, why’d you come back? We all thought you were gone for good, and I was so happy for you. I thought you’d finally figured shit out, and now you’re back and everybody knows. And the Kings are pissed royal.
    I know.
    You should’ve stayed gone. You know you disrespected your brothers and everything. Hurry up and leave, man. It’s not too late.
    I can’t.
    Felipe was too tired. He couldn’t run because there was nowhere to go. 24th Street was engrained in him. He hugged Ricardo and asked will you just keep me company?
    Together they walked past the park and toward Torchy’s, where a crowd of people stood waiting. Ricardo walked beside him, trying to stay strong for his best friend.
    They walked in silence for the last few steps that separated them from the group, and right before Felipe