snippily I thought. âNo, Iâm sorry, itâs your life, you do what you want with it. Just, well, you just do it on your own from now on, OK?â
I sighed. Charm obviously wasnât my strong suit today either. I rubbed a hand over my face and sighed again.
âLook, Debs,â I started, but she cut me off.
âYou can have your bits and pieces,â she said. âWeâre still⦠whatever we were all those years ago, before I was ever stupid enough to start going to bed with you. Friends, I suppose. Whatever you want to call it. I wouldnât want to see Wormwood eat you, OK?â
At least that was something we could agree on.
âThanks Debs,â I said. âI owe you one.â
âYou owe me thirty-four, by my count,â she said.
In all honesty it was probably more than that, but it didnât seem like a good idea to say so just then. I stood there while she packaged up what I needed, feeling like some naughty schoolboy being told off in the headmistressâs office. At least she let me have it all on tick.
âHere,â she said at last as she thrust an old supermarket carrier bag into my hands. âItâs all there.â
I peeked into the top of the bag. It was all there as well, even the manticore spines.
âYouâre a sweetheart,â I said.
âIâm an idiot,â she muttered as she turned away. âNow go on, piss off before I change my mind.â
I wanted to say something but I honestly couldnât think what, and now she had her back to me as she fiddled with her tubes and things. Her shoulders were trembling, I noticed. I chickened out and left.
It wasnât that far back to my place, but the whole time I kept the bag clutched tight in my hand and a wary eye on the people around me. Thereâd be no replacing this stuff if it got nicked now. The bag was wriggling horribly on account of the toads, which I supposed reduced the chances of anyone actually wanting to pinch it, but all the same. In that neighbourhood you never knew.
The Burned Man was waiting impatiently when I got back.
âWell?â it said. âDid you blag it with her?â
âShut up,â I muttered as I emptied the bag onto my workroom floor. âItâs all here.â
âGood olâ Debs,â it sniggered.
âShut up,â I said again. âJust leave her out of it, OK?â
âTouchy,â it said, and smirked. âGo on then, get us set up.â
Getting us set up took most of the rest of the day. Summoning and sending is hard . By the time I had the circle laid out exactly right, it was dark outside. I stood back and admired my handiwork. It had taken an age to mix the iron filings with the goatâs blood and mercury until the consistency was just right, but now the end result was piped perfectly onto the outline of the grand summoning circle that was inscribed on the floor. I had used the powdered manticore spines to draw the correct glyphs inside each point of the pentacle, and done what was necessary with the toads. I put the knife down and stretched my back until it cracked, and looked at the Burned Man.
âReady?â I asked it.
I could see the hunger in its eyes.
âReady,â it said.
Of course, it was a fucking disaster.
Chapter Three
S ometimes you just canât get drunk enough. God only knew I was trying though.
Thereâs this little trick I can do with probability. Not enough to win the lottery or beat Wormwood at Fates, moreâs the pity, but Iâm good enough to tickle the hundred quid jackpot out of the fruit machine in the Rose and Crown when I need to. As long as I donât do it often enough to get Shirley suspicious, itâs all good. It keeps me in beer money if nothing else. Iâd drunk about half of it so far and I was still awake, which was a lot less good. I donât know if I even could have got drunk enough to forget the last few hours but I
The Jilting of Baron Pelham