Dr. Slick: A Killer Comedy Read Online Free PDF Page B

are the presentation boards from Straun & Partners advertising.
    The door opens and the FedEx guy walks in.
    He takes a package to the President’s desk.
    The FedEx guy is actually Rocky.
    “Just sign on the dotted line, sir,” Rocky says.
    The President, a rotund man with a florid face and an expensive suit, glances up at Rocky.  “Where is Robin, my secretary?  She signs this stuff.”
    “Ah, I didn’t see her out there, sir.”
    Rocky notices the storyboards along the wall.
    “Hey, is this the new ad campaign I read about in the Journal?
    “Yes it is. You read the Journal?” he asks Rocky.
    “Where else would I get my investing information?”
    For the first time, the President actually seems to notice Rocky.  He leans back in his chair, surprised and somewhat pleased to have found out this information.
    “Really. Well, that’s interesting. Our new ad campaign is targeting the average investor.”
    “Well, hold on there, I’d say I’m slightly above average,” Rocky says.
    “What’d your portfolio return last year?”
    “Twenty-one percent.”
    “Respectable. Very respectable.”
    The president gets up and walks over to the storyboards.
    “I’d be curious to see what you think of this.”
    “Oh, I couldn’t,” Rocky answers.
    “No, go ahead. You’ll be a one-man focus group.”
    “Well, okay.”
    He reads through the boards.
    “I hate it.  Sorry, just being honest.”
    “Why?”
    “It’s dull. It’s condescending. And it’s not very informative. And it’s a classic example of an ad agency screwing over its client. Pardon my lapse into naughty language.”
    “How are they screwing us?”
    “Well, I’m no expert, but I see it this way. An ad agency makes its money on media spending. If they can get you to spend a hundred million dollars on running television commercials, they get what, twenty million of that?”
    “And then some.”
    “So, if they sell you a boring campaign that they think you want to hear, it’s perfect, right?”
    “Why?”
    “Because for one thing, you’ll spend the money to run the commercials. But even better, they’re so fucking dull that no one will talk about them. You get no free publicity, and consequently have to spend more money on...
    “...advertising,” the President says.
    “Bingo, baby.”
    They both look at the storyboards. Suddenly, the President of American Oil Company is clearly not happy.
    “May I be so bold as to offer another suggestion?”
    “Please do.”
    “What you need is something edgy. Some kind of recurring device that creates conflict - because what is conflict?”
    The Prez shrugs.
    “Conflict is the foundation of all good drama,” Rocky says.
    “Yes!” the President is beaming at Rocky.
    “You need each commercial to be some classic example of conflict that will get noticed and talked about. And hopefully, will get people talking so much about American Oil, that you’ll be able to spend less money on...” Rocky smiles at the President, letting him finish the thought.
    “Advertising!”
    Rocky gives him the thumbs-up.

Twenty-Four
     
    Tom is at his computer. He fires up his SNIPER computer game. He leans back and pounds on the wall.
    “Hey Dylan! You want some of this?”
    There’s no answer.
    He pounds on the wall again.
    “What’s the matter? Don’t you hide from me!”
    Tom gets up and walks out of his office to Dylan’s. Tom is surprised to see a woman sitting at Dylan’s desk.
    “Were you yelling at me?” she says.
    “No, I–“
    She stands up and offers her hand.
    “Hi, I’m Nancy.”
    Tom takes her hand.
    “I’m Tom. Ah...this used to be someone else’s office. I wonder if he got moved.”
    “That’s not what I heard,” she says.
    She sits back down and gets back to work.
    “What did you hear?”
    “Look, I just started here. I don’t want to be spreading rumors.”
    Tom steps inside and closes the door.
    “I promise, I didn’t hear anything from you.”
    The woman studies Tom for a