Dr. Slick: A Killer Comedy Read Online Free PDF

to–“
    “Leverage,” Tom says, finishing the thought.
    “Bingo!” Rocky says.
    “I don’t mean to rain on your late-night parade here, Rock, but Kelly already solved that problem.”
    “That was the old problem. The new problem is the one you’re going to solve.”
    “What new problem?”
    Rocky laughs.
    “You let me handle that.”
    Tom looks confused. Rocky pours himself a cup of coffee.
    “Hey, do you mind if I crash in here? That’s a pullout right?”
    “You wanna sleep...here?”
    “Yeah. Right here in the war room. Whaddaya say, buddy?”
    “Okay, sure.”
    “All right then!”
    Rocky grabs Tom by the shoulders.
    “Let’s kick some goddamned ass, man!”
    Several hours later, Tom has a sheaf of paper he’s reading through. On the top page is the American Oil logo.  He keeps staring at it, as if he’s in a trance.
    Suddenly, he grabs a pen and starts scribbling some notes.
    He continues to write, scratches something out, and then writes again.
    He puts down the paper and paces.
    Tom stops and looks back at the paper, then goes and picks it up.
    He whispers to himself.
    “Dr. Slick...”

Twenty-Two
     
    Dylan walks into his office, sets down his messenger bag and fires up his computer. He plops into a chair and flips through a magazine while sipping coffee.
    The computer screen is visible as it starts to display icons as it powers up. Dylan drains the rest of his coffee.
    He gets up and walks out, just as the computer comes to life.
    The computer screen goes to black as the frame of a QuickTime movie appears.  Two sailors inside a submarine are talking.
    The scene is, we see the inside of a submarine. Two sailors are talking.
    “So this is where you’ll be sleeping. You got the bottom bunk I got the top. You don’t mind being on the bottom.”
    “Not at all,” the second sailor says with a shy smile.
    “Well, I like being on top.”
    “I kind of like the idea of you being on top.”
    Porno music begins as the men get down to business.
    Just outside Dylan’s office, a secretary walks past the open doorway.
    She stops and steps back to the doorway, lured by the unmistakable sound of pornography.
    In the kitchen, Dylan pours himself a fresh cup of coffee, debates for a moment, then goes into the men’s room.  He grabs a Sports Illustrated magazine that’s been wedged between the stall doors. He drops his pants, sits down on the throne and starts reading the magazine.
    Back in his office, the secretary who initially heard the porn on Dylan’s computer has now been joined by four or five other office workers.
    They have gone into Dylan’s office and are watching the action on his computer screen.
    “On your knees, sailor!” one of the characters says.
    “Yes sir!” a second replies.
    Dylan’s office is filled with sounds of various grunts and groans and bedspring squeaks accompany the on-screen action.
    “Loading torpedo tube!” one of the sailors in the video says.
    “Oh mother of God! Oh, oh, oh!”
    An older woman arrives at Dylan’s door. Immediately, the group of people surrounding Dylan’s computer disperse.
    The older woman takes a look at the screen and immediately writes something down. She leaves and a beat later, Dylan arrives.
    He walks behind his desk.
    “Fire in the hole!” a sailor calls out.
    “Thank you, sir...oh!...may I have another?” a character replies.
    “Fire!”
    “Oh! Mmmmm! Oh, oh, oh!”
    Dylan stares at his screen, aghast. He hits various keys on his computer, but the scene continues. He totally panics and begins pounding on his keyboard but the video continues.  He starts pulling cords and wires out of the wall in hopes of turning the computer off.

Twenty-Three
     
    A large sign, carved out of granite, reading American Oil sits at the driveway entrance to the oil company’s dramatic headquarters.
    The office of the President of American Oil Company is impressive. Floor-to-ceiling windows. A giant walnut desk. Along one wall of the office