We learned afterwards, when it was too late, that the
dodge was to bribe the barman; if you could afford twenty
francs he would generally get you a job.
We went to the Hotel Scribe and waited an hour on the
pavement, hoping that the manager would come out, but
he never did. Then we dragged ourselves down to the rue
du Commerce, only to find that the new restaurant, which
was being redecorated, was shut up and the PATRON away.
It was now night. We had walked fourteen kilometres over
pavement, and we were so tired that we had to waste one
franc fifty on going home by Metro. Walking was agony to
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Boris with his game leg, and his optimism wore thinner and
thinner as the day went on. When he got out of the Metro
at the Place d’Italie he was in despair. He began to say that
it was no use looking for work—there was nothing for it but
to try crime.
‘Sooner rob than starve, MON AMI. I have often planned
it. A fat, rich American—some dark corner down Montpar-
nasse way—a cobblestone in a stocking—bang! And then go
through his pockets and bolt. It is feasible, do you not think?
I would not flinch—I have been a soldier, remember.’
He decided against the plan in the end, because we were
both foreigners and easily recognized.
When we had got back to my room we spent another one
franc fifty on bread and chocolate. Boris devoured his share,
and at once cheered up like magic; food seemed to act on his
system as rapidly as a cocktail. He took out a pencil and be-
gan making a list of the people who would probably give us
jobs. There were dozens of them, he said.
‘Tomorrow we shall find something, MON AMI, I know
it in my bones. The luck always changes. Besides, we both
have brains—a man with brains can’t starve.
‘What things a man can do with brains! Brains will
make money out of anything. I had a friend once, a Pole, a
real man of genius; and what do you think he used to do?
He would buy a gold ring and pawn it for fifteen francs.
Then—you know how carelessly the clerks fill up the tick-
ets— where the clerk had written ‘EN OR’ he would add ‘ET
DIAMANTS’ and he would change ‘fifteen francs’ to ‘fif-
teen thousand”. Neat, eh? Then, you see, he could borrow a
Down and Out in Paris and London
thousand francs on the security of the ticket. That is what I
mean by brains …’
For the rest of the evening Boris was in a hopeful mood,
talking of the times we should have together when we were
waiters together at Nice or Biarritz, with smart rooms and
enough money to set up mistresses. He was too tired to
walk the three kilometres back to his hotel, and slept the
night on the floor of my room, with his coat rolled round
his shoes for a pillow.
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VI
We again failed to find work the next day, and it was
three weeks before the luck changed. My two hun-
dred francs saved me from trouble about the rent, but
everything else went as badly as possible. Day after day Bo-
ris and I went up and down Paris, drifting at two miles an
hour through the crowds, bored and hungry, and finding
nothing. One day, I remember, we crossed the Seine eleven
times. We loitered for hours outside service doorways, and
when the manager came out we would go up to him ingra-
tiatingly, cap in hand. We always got the same answer: they
did not want a lame man, nor a man without experience.
Once we were very nearly engaged. While we spoke to the
manager Boris stood straight upright, not supporting him-
self with his stick, and the .manager did not see that he was
lame. ‘Yes,’ he said, ‘we want two men in the cellars. Per-
haps you would do. Come inside.’ Then Boris moved, the
game was up. ‘Ah,’ said the manager, ‘you limp. MALHEU-
REUSEMENT—’
We enrolled our names at agencies and answered adver-
tisements, but walking everywhere made us slow, and we
seemed to miss every job by half an hour.