Down and Out in Paris and London Read Online Free PDF

which let in the rain) and get into the bed. He
    could not sleep much even there owing to the bugs, but it
    rested his back after the floor.
    It was a great disappointment, when I had come to Boris
    for help, to find him even worse off than myself. I explained
    that I had only about sixty francs left and must get a job im-
    mediately. By this time, however, Boris had eaten the rest
    of the bread and was feeling cheerful and talkative. He said
    carelessly:
    ‘Good heavens, what are you worrying about? Sixty
    francs—why, it’s a fortune! Please hand me that shoe, MON
    AMI. I’m going to smash some of those bugs if they come
    within reach.’
    ‘But do you think there’s any chance of getting a job?’
    ‘Chance? It’s a certainty. In fact, I have got something al-
    ready. There is a new Russian restaurant which is to open in
    a few days in the rue du Commerce. It is UNE CHOSE EN-
    TENDUE that I am to be MAITRE D’HOTEL. I can easily
    get you a job in the kitchen. Five hundred francs a month
    and your food—tips, too, if you are lucky.’
    ‘But in the meantime? I’ve got to pay my rent before
    long.’
    ‘Oh, we shall find something. I have got a few cards-up
    Free eBooks at Planet eBook.com
    1
    my sleeve. There are people who owe me money, for in-
    stance—Paris is full of them. One of them is bound to pay
    up before long. Then think of all the women who have been
    my mistress! A woman never forgets, you know—I have
    only to ask and they will help me. Besides, the Jew tells me
    he is going to steal some magnetos from the garage where
    he works, and he will pay us five francs a day to clean them
    before he sells them. That alone would keep us. Never wor-
    ry, MON AMI. Nothing is easier to get than money.’
    ‘Well, let’s go out now and look for a job.’
    ‘Presently, MON AMI. We shan’t starve, don’t you fear.
    This is only the fortune of war—I’ve been in a worse hole
    scores of times. It’s only a question of persisting. Remember
    Foch’s maxim: ‘ATTAQUEZ! ATTAQUEZ! ATTAQUEZ!‘
    It was midday before Boris decided to get up. All the
    clothes he now had left were one suit, with one shirt, col-
    lar and tie, a pair of shoes almost worn out, and a pair of
    socks all holes. He had also an overcoat which was to be
    pawned in the last extremity. He had a suitcase, a wretched
    twenty-franc cardboard thing, but very important, be-
    cause the PATRON of the hotel believed that it was full of
    clothes—without that, he would probably have turned Bo-
    ris out of doors. What it actually contained were the medals
    and photographs, various odds and ends, and huge bundles
    of love-letters. In spite of all this Boris managed to keep a
    fairly smart appearance. He shaved without soap and with a
    razor-blade two months old, tied his tie so that the holes did
    not show, and carefully stuffed the soles of his shoes with
    newspaper. Finally, when he was dressed, he produced an

    Down and Out in Paris and London
    ink-bottle and inked the skin of his ankles where it showed
    through his socks. You would never have thought, when it
    was finished, that he had recently been sleeping under the
    Seine bridges.
    We went to a small cafe off the rue de Rivoli, a well-
    known rendezvous of hotel managers and employees. At
    the back was a dark, cave-like room where all kinds of ho-
    tel workers were sitting—smart young waiters, others not
    so smart and clearly hungry, fat pink cooks, greasy dish-
    washers, battered old scrubbing-women. Everyone had an
    untouched glass of black coffee in front of him. The place
    was, in effect, an employment bureau, and the money spent
    on drinks was the PATRON’S commission. Sometimes a
    stout, important-looking man, obviously a restaurateur,
    would come in and speak to the barman, and the barman-
    would call to one of the people at the back of the cafe. But he
    never called to Boris or me, and we left after two hours, as
    the etiquette was that you could only stay two hours for one
    drink.