Don't Wake Me if I'm Dreaming Read Online Free PDF Page A

peacefully as if she no longer had a care or fear.” I could still visualize it as I did while on stage. “I didn’t even react to the thought. I did nothing but sat still, motionless, my fingers faulted on the keys.” I unknowingly zoned out in contemplation, reliving the moment.
    “And that was it?”
    “I heard the conversing, a judge said, ‘thank you, that’ll be all.’ I was probably just over thirty minutes into the audition, and just like that, it was over. I think it was at that moment I finally let her go, and along with that, I gave back the gift she gave me. I haven’t played the piano since.”
    Aimee sat motionlessly, the only movement was a trailing stream of tears. She reached to hold my hand, but, not wanting to cry myself, I reached for her glass, pulled the wrapper from the straw, and took a drink of the partially melted malt. “You should eat, now that you’re eating for two.”
    “Yuck. No. When you pictured it, I mean, in your mind, how do you think she did it?” She swallowed hard with anguished eyes.
    “I think she drowned herself in the tub, candles surrounding her, her favorite piece playing in the background, Clair de Lune. I don’t think she was scared. I think she was ready and just slid into the water. It makes sense as to why my dad ripped out the tub and put in a shower. But every time I think of it, I can hear the music, and see her slipping deeper into the water.”
    Aimee wiped the steady stream from her face with her sleeve. “This breaks my heart. Your mom was the kindest woman on earth. She would have never intended to hurt you guys. Had she even had a clear thought, she would have known better. She loved you guys so much. We may have been young, but I remember I was always jealous of how good she was to you guys.”
    I smiled halfhearted.
    “You can audition again you know. It’s not too late.” She tried perking up a little.
    “What am I going to do with a degree in music? I already have a steady career and Matt would never be okay with moving to New York. He’ll never move far from the fire department. I’m not even sure I’d want to live there either. Besides, I haven’t played in years, and that’s not going to solve any of my problems. They’ll just follow me there.”
    “About that. After everything you just told me, you need to see a doctor, like yesterday. I can call in for a substitute to teach my class and take you. I don’t want you to…” Her eyes trickled heavily, again. “Oh my God, I can’t even think of that!” Her hands slid up inside her sleeves and cuffed them over her eyes with a silent weeping sob.
    “Geeze, I’m the one who should be falling apart here, but I think you’ve covered that enough for the both of us.”
    “Sorry. I can’t help it.” She wiped off her cheeks. “This is like the saddest story ever. I wish I could take it all away from you.”
    “Me too.” I stared back out the window.
    I had a small splinter of relief after talking with Aimee. To say it out loud, and not be condemned as insane gave me hope that maybe it was much worse in my head than it really was. And undeniably, she was right. I needed to see a doctor, and pronto.
    ***
    A fter a long and very miserable workday, I remembered I was supposed to meet up with Matt. We’d managed four consistent days apart already, and I was craving every ounce of his attention and knew a date night was past due. Or at least it was until I glanced in the rearview mirror realizing Aimee wasn’t kidding, I did look like shit. “Lovely! Sleep deprived, partially bloodshot eyes, un-waxed brows, talking to myself, again. Ugh, such a hot mess.” I also noticed before turning the mirror that I had done a half ass job smearing on makeup this morning. At this point, I didn’t even think a quick beauty makeover at a Shiseido counter could fix the reflected image glaring back at me in disgust. There was no way I’d let Matt see me like this. I needed to evade the situation