Don't Tell Me I Can't Do It! Read Online Free PDF Page A

following one’s own path, even (perhaps especially) when it means not conforming to social norms and others’ expectations.
    My elders’ warnings and punishments never succeeded in reining in my adventurous nature as a child, and the same holds true for the rules of etiquette today. I walk to the beat of my own drums. My life is my own: life according to Erica.

    I watched my mother flex her muscles the day Papa pleaded to be left behind in Mogilev. I saw her rise up and become the capable, take-charge figure my family most needed at a moment when our solidarity teetered on the brink of disaster. I saw how Mama could be strong when the circumstances called for it.
    Alas, they so rarely did.
    My father grew to be self-centered and self-indulgent later in life. Perfectly oblivious to my mother’s needs, he seemed far more interested in spending a lot of money on himself, getting dressed up in fine clothes and making himself into a portrait of elegance. My mother, on the other hand, rarely spent anything on herself and seemed almost to go out of her way to be a slob (or so it seemed to me at the time). She just didn’t care. Indeed, she never seemed to be a viable person in Papa’s world, existing instead merely to serve him, a role she passively accepted. Papa was charming and self-educated, the life of the party, the person others wanted to be around. Mama was just there.
    After the army, when I moved back home with my parents, I enjoyed a special relationship with my father. We shared many deep conversations about important topics—philosophy and religion, the ways of the world, the cruelty men could show one another. All the while, I couldn’t help observing how my mother remained outside the loop, a mere onlooker to our animated discussions. No one ever prohibited her from participating, of course. She simply had nothing to say, and that removed her from my sphere of interest.
    I remember feeling as if someone needed to “feed” her with attention. She seemed so lonely, and I felt sorry for her. Today I regret letting my youth and busyness get in the way of supplying some of that coveted attention, but I’m also grateful that the image of my mother that sticks with me is not that of the quiet homemaker who sat just beyond the fringes of my relationship with my father, but rather of the bold heroine of Mogilev. I know I haven’t followed Mama in many of the ways she might have preferred that I would, but I do hope that I’ve managed to live up to that audacious spark I glimpsed in her so many years ago. It’s thanks to her that I’ll neverforget the importance of doing what needs to be done, even when others say it’s time to give up.
    We have an attitude in this country that selfishness is a bad thing, but that’s a misunderstanding. Being selfish doesn’t have to mean exploiting others. It simply means taking care of oneself. In a flight safety drill, passengers are taught to strap themselves in first before attempting to care for their youngsters and others on the plane. If we neglect to take care of ourselves, we leave ourselves with nothing left to give away. We so easily succumb to the “poor me” attitude and become victims.
    Never again. No more waiting for others to take care of me. Call it selfishness if you must, but I choose to be the heroine of my life.
    A FINAL NOTE ON THIS CHAPTER:
    Flex Your Muscles
    To lead “the good life,” find your inner determination, courage, and resilience. Follow your heart and set a vision for yourself. No one knows better than you what will make you happy. You are the captain of your boat of life! NAVIGATE! It takes a vision before you can generate opportunities. What is your vision at the moment? Ponder this until you find one that inspires YOU. It is also never too late to take a different path in your life’s adventure. Go for it! YOU CAN DO IT!

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    There Is No Failure
    I could tell that I was not like the others.
    I was so excited to finally be going