it’s their alarm signal. So long as we’re naked when we step into their dwelling, we’re not committing too big a faux pas .”
“No,” said Kevin. “No. Freakin’. Way.”
“It’s a trust thing in some societies, Kevin. A bit like shaking hands to show that there’s no weapon in your right hand.”
Kevin laughed manically. “Like, you’re telling me the entire universe is some giant naturist colony?”
“No, that’s not what I’m telling you,” said the Doctor, who had already hung his jacket up and was removing his socks. “The Rindan are an ancient people with customs which should be respected. If you’re coming with me on this one, you’re coming naked.”
Kevin stared at the Doctor, who continued to disrobe. When he was down to his underwear the Doctor said, “I take it you’re not coming, then?”
“Like, this is some kind of initiation thing. Right? You has like got a load of other Time Keepers or aliens – I mean out-of-towners – out there, wherever that is. Right? Coz out there could be like anywhere in the universe, man. It could be the Alpha Centauri space cadets’ convention out there and I would be none the wiser, would I? And it’s like I just finished my first mission yesterday, so I’m part of some kinda exclusive club now and there’s a bar an’ stuff and there’s a party and I go out there naked and it’s a big joke. My photo gets taken with my bits hangin’ out and lookin’ all surprised and it goes on display in the clubhouse, but that’s me in the club officially because that’s the initiation ceremony. You get me?”
“Oh, good grief,” said the Doctor. “I’ve told you before: Occam’s Razor. The simplest explanation is usually the right one.” He removed his underpants, took his Tsk Army Ultraknife out of his jacket and stepped out of the Spectrel.
“Doctor? Wait!” Kevin hurriedly took his clothes off, letting them fall to the floor whilst When set about pretending to dust a couple of museum pieces. He ran to the Spectrel’s door and bumped into the naked Doctor, who was coming back in.
“For God’s sake, Kevin! Make your mind up, lad.”
“S-sorry, Boss.” Kevin covered his nakedness.
“No need to stand on ceremony now. The Plenscas are dead. Put your clothes back on.”
Stepping into the sitting room of a London apartment from a red Post Office box was a new experience for Kevin. There was a little puff of air as the pillar box disappeared, leaving a hole for the air to fill. How had sent When back for Trinity.
The first thing that Kevin noticed was there was nothing to notice. There was nothing that would mark the sitting room as alien to the untrained eye.
“That’s because they’re bipedal,” said the Doctor, “and about the same height and weight as you lot. They just have to wear biomasks when they want to go out on the street.”
“Biomasks?”
“Yes. Biological outerwear for the out-of-towner. It simulates the human signature in terms of look, smell, basic physiology, fingerprints – the whole shebang. They can go through any scanner in your civilisation and pass for human.”
“Wow! Amazing idea.”
“Thank you. One of my quirkier inventions. The royalties would be much greater if we allowed more people to visit and have diplomatic status.”
“ Whoa . You mean there are, like, thousands of these people living amongst us?”
“The numbers are confidential, but there are a fair few, yes. Earlier versions weren’t quite so reliable, but they’re pretty good now.”
“You mean the masks would… fail?”
“Yes. Ever heard the expression ‘the mask slipped?’”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Believe me, that used to really scare the pants off some of your people.”
“Wait a second… All this stuff about the Grays, and the masks and stuff.”
“What of it?”
“I mean, that’s it, isn’t it? The Grays are here. They’ve been here all along, hiding behind these biomasks!”
“Yes, of course.