Discworld 27 - The Last Hero Read Online Free PDF Page A

that not so. Archchancellor?”
“I am forced to agree, my lord.”
“Then if we can rely on a stiff following breeze. I am sure-”
“Just a moment, just a moment,” said the Dean, who rather felt the wind
comment had been directed at him. “What do we know of this man? He makes
... devices, and paints pictures, does he? Well, I'm sure this is all
very nice, but we all know about artists, don't we? Flibbertigibbets, to
a man. And what about Bloody Stupid Johnson? Remember some of the things
he built?”*(*Many of the things built by the architect and freelance
designer Bergholt Stuttley (“Bloody Stupid”) Johnson were recorded in
Ankh-Morpork, often on the line where it says “Cause of Death”. He was,
people agreed, a genius, at least if you defined the word broadly.
Certainly no one else in the world could make an explosive mixture out of
common sand and water. A good designer, he always said, should be capable
of anything. And. indeed, he was.) I'm sure Mr. da Quirm draws lovely
pictures, but I for one would need a little more evidence of his amazing
genius before we entrust the world to his ... device. Show me one thing
he can do that anyone couldn't do, if they had the time.“
”I have never considered myself a genius.“ said Leonard, looking down
bashfully and doodling on the paper in front of him.
”Well, if I was a genius I think I'd know it-" the Dean began, and
stopped.
Absent-mindedly, while barely paying attention to what he was doing.
Leonard had drawn a perfect circle.
Lord Vetinari found it best to set up a committee system. More of the
ambassadors from other countries had arrived at the university, and more
heads of the Guilds were pouring in, and every single one of them wanted
to be involved in the decision-making process without necessarily going
through the intelligence-using process first
     
 
   
About seven committees, he considered, should be about right. And when,
ten minutes later, the first sub-committee had miraculously budded off,
he took aside a few chosen people into a small room, set up the
Miscellaneous Committee, and locked the door.
“The flying ship will need a crew, I'm told,” he said. “It can carry
three people. Leonard will have to go because, to be frank, he will be
working on it even as it departs. And the other two?”
“There should be an assassin.” said Lord Downey of the Assassins' Guild.
“No. If Cohen and his friends were easy to assassinate, they would have
been dead long ago,” said Lord Vetinari.
“Perhaps a woman's touch?” said Mrs Palm, head of the Guild of
Seamstresses. “I know they are elderly gentlemen, but my members are-”
“I think the problem there, Mrs Palm, is that although the Horde are
apparently very appreciative of the company of women, they don't listen
to anything they say. Yes, Captain Carrot?”
Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson of the City Watch was standing to
attention, radiating keenness and a hint of soap.
“I volunteer to go. sir,” he said.
“Yes, I thought you probably would.”
“Is this a matter for the Watch?” said the lawyer Mr. Slant. “Mr.Cohen is
simply returning property to its original owner.”
“That is an insight which had not hitherto occurred to me,” said Lord
Vetinari smoothly. “However, the City Watch would not be the men I think
they are if they couldn't think of a reason to arrest anyone. Commander
Vimes?”
“Conspiracy to make an affray should do it.” said the head of the Watch,
lighting a cigar.
“And Captain Carrot is a persuasive young man,” said Lord Vetinari.
“With a big sword.” grumbled Mr. Slant.
“Persuasion comes in many forms,” said Lord Vetinari. “No. I agree with
Archchancellor Ridcully, sending Captain Carrot would be an excellent
idea.”
“What? Did I say something?” said Ridcully.
“Do you think that sending Captain Carrot would be an excellent idea?”
“What? Oh. Yes. Good lad. Keen. Got