Deception Read Online Free PDF

urge to comfort her. To pull her to me and wrap my arms around her. However, I resist. I shouldn’t have put my hands on her in the first place. I can look at a married woman, even talk to one. I shouldn’t have touched her though.
    “Or something.” She doesn’t explain any further. Finally, she turns around, a smile plastered on her face, but I don’t miss the sadness in her eyes. “Race you around the lake before we part ways?”
    She takes off without waiting for a reply, and there lies my answer from earlier. She definitely runs to banish whatever it is that plagues her mind, focusing on the pain in her legs, instead of the ache in her heart. I chase after her, knowing I can never run far enough to get away from what haunts me.

Chapter Three
    “They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them.”  - Mahatma Gandhi
    Roxi
    G uilt over my flirtatious behaviour is eating away at me. I silently berate myself. Irritated, I run harder and faster than ever before, trying to escape what I’m feeling. No matter how hard I push, it won’t go away.
    The wind whips in my face, trying to push me back. I force myself forward, fighting against it, fighting against the urge to go back and spend more time with him . To spend more time with a guy I’m attracted to, who isn’t my husband. A guy who seems to be easily, drawing out my secrets.
    Why did I have to go and admit how undesirable I feel? I’m not sure why I get the impression I can trust him, that he could be a friend. Maybe it’s his straight up honesty that makes me feel as though there’s no room for hiding around him. There’s no pretending anymore that I don’t need anyone. Which is dangerous. I don’t want anyone finding out anything about me. If they knew, how pathetic my life is or what a terrible mother I feel like I am, they might think less of me. It’s just, I’m at a loss of how to fix any of it.
    I’ve never felt so torn while running before. The anxious energy coursing through me refuses to burn away. I’ve never given much thought beyond finding the means to get away from Joseph. Luke makes me think about a completely new realm of possibilities and it scares the crap out of me. I’m not stupid, I know there’s plenty of guys out there who aren’t as cruel as my husband, but I shouldn’t be concentrating on other men right now. No matter how dreamy they seem, my only focus should be on independence.
    “Roxi,” Luke calls out from behind me.
    I’m sure he could catch up if he wanted to. However, I’m glad he’s giving me space, waiting to see if I’ll slow down for him. His concern makes me feel vulnerable and I pick up my speed, running away from the risk of exposing my true self further. I need to keep on my mask, at least until I find a safe way to change my life.
    Eventually the sounds of his footsteps fade and I slow down, heading for home.
    When I walk in the door, I see ten missed calls on my phone, all from Joseph. Reluctant to call him back, I move to the mat to stretch. I do a few classic yoga poses and start to meditate, my usual ritual after exercise. Visions of a tranquil rainforest fill my head. All is silent, except for the peaceful sounds of nature. Beauty is all around me. I breathe in the cool air that brushes lightly across my skin and I can almost taste how fresh it is. It’s as though I’m really there. As the oxygen travels through my body, my muscles start to unwind one by one, and I relax.
    The shrill sound of my ringtone breaks through the serenity I’ve found and I groan as I get up to answer it.
    “Hi, what’s wrong?” He only ever calls if he wants something.
    “Why didn’t you answer my calls? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for over thirty minutes now.”
    A hello would have been nice, but no, he has to jump straight into giving me a hard time. “Sorry I was out for a run, I just got back.”
    “Jeez, it’s a hard life isn’t it?”
    I roll my eyes, if I’m not