Death in Leamington Read Online Free PDF Page B

ten years younger than the mid-week regulars. Girls wore oversized heels and skirts six inches too short; some looked distinctly underage. Many of them were drinking cocktails before hitting the clubs; ogled in turn by groups of sixteen- to eighteen-year-old lads with tattoos, abs and fake tans hanging around the bar. I have to say that I felt distinctly queasy about being in such teenybopper company; there were very few women anywhere near my age.
    ‘Look at those idiots over there,’ Bas said, pointing to a group of smirking lads with gleaming white baseball boots and leather jackets. They were drinking Jägerbombs, their hair gelled back like reality-TV stars.
    ‘I just wish I was their age again.’
    ‘No you don’t, just look at them. They haven’t got a clue how to talk to birds, unlike yours truly…’ Bas flexed his shoulder muscles, cracked his knuckles and opened another button on his shirt to reveal more chest hair and a thick gold chain. ‘Look at those three girls over there, for instance, they look bored as hell with those idiots,’ he added, pointing to a group of twenty-somethings in the corner. ‘I bet even you could show them a move or two, Hugh.’
    ‘I doubt it Braggadocio – I’m old enough to be their father.’
    We continued to watch, half-amused and half-appalled at the increasingly boisterous and noisy drinking games performed by the group of Y-chromosomes standing around the bar. Outside, one of the boys had pulled up his top to show off his steroid-induced abs to another bunch of passing girls on the street. His friend poured a drink on his stomach and he rubbed the liquid in like baby oil.
    ‘Fancy a feel then, later?’ the boy shouted at the passing girls as they threw him an admiring glance.
    ‘Heh Wayne, just get lost before I end you!’ the lead girl replied sharply, seeming to recognise him. Her mates giggled and his mates sniggered back. She threw a little more than a play punch towards his stomach from which he pretended to recoil in shock with a pained expression.
    ‘Heh, she
really
fancies you,’ her mates jeered.
    ‘Come on then, we’re off to the V bar if you’re men enough,’ she said, pouting her lips as she stroked back her hair and adjusted her skirt higher up on her hips. I had to turn away to avoid laughing.
    ‘For heaven’s sake, chill out guys, the night’s still young.
Save the fight ’til it’s over
,’ said Bas, but he was careful not to say it too loudly in case the lads heard him.
    *
    ‘OK, so tonight is the night to find Hugh a soul mate; is it to be Spice or Sahara then, boys?’ Eddie shouted over to us.
    ‘I think I’m a bit past both of those,’ I laughed and added, only half-jokingly, ‘Is Rimini still going, or maybe Wildes?’ They rolled their eyes at me.
    ‘Actually yes, they both are, but they’re full of sad relics like you, replaying their youth and listening to Frankie and Abba, looking forward to a good mug of cocoa when they get home,’ said Bas, not quite getting my subtle irony.
    ‘OK, OK, don’t rub it in. At least I act my age.’
    Clearly Bas had other ideas and was already sizing up a different group of girls in their early thirties who had just arrived and taken a free table in the corner.
    ‘This lot look more your age,’ he said, despite the fact that I was a good ten years older than any of them. It did not take him long to make his move.
    ‘Hey girls, I’m sorry to interrupt but would you mind if we joined you? We’ve got something to celebrate – my friend over here’s going to be in the movies. Let me get you some shots?’
    I watched, amused as the slim pretty one amongst them, dressed to kill in a very tight pair of trousers, looked on in disdain and some alarm at the thought of being hit on by this bald, middle-aged man. To my surprise, Bas’s words were apparently not completely lost on her because she looked Eddie up and down, seemingly intrigued by his comment. I heard her mutter to her two