Death Benefits Read Online Free PDF Page A

office next to mine had been vacant for almost a year, ever since Mendel Klayman—the elderly Jewish CPA who kept trying to fix me up with his three-hundred-pound divorced son Sidney (“This is a good boy, Rachel”)—had retired and moved to Arizona with his wife and his three-hundred-pound divorced son Sidney. With the office vacant, it was a perfect arrangement: The law school would not only pick up Benny’s rent but pay for the cost of knocking out a wall to connect Benny’s office with the reception area to mine.
    But what really made it perfect was having Benny nearby again. He was fat and he was crude. But he was also my best friend, and I loved him like the brother I never had.
    I walked into the tiny reception area of my office and was surprised to see Mary still there. She usually left before five-thirty. Mary seemed a little flustered to see me.
    â€œEverything okay?” I asked as I leaned against the wall and eased off my shoes.
    â€œSure,” she said. “Great. Everything’s great.”
    â€œHow come you’re still here?” I asked, looking down as I wiggled my toes.
    â€œOh, just catching up on my filing.”
    â€œWhere’s Benny?” I asked, nodding toward his darkened office.
    Mary smiled, regaining her composure. “You know him. He said he had a hot date with one of his students.”
    I rolled my eyes. “We better increase the saltpeter in his coffee. Any messages?”
    Mary raised her eyebrows. “A couple. I put them in your office.”
    I looked at her funny, and she averted her eyes. Mary normally put my telephone messages on the message spike at her desk.
    â€œYou sure you’re okay?”
    She blushed as she nodded.
    Puzzled, I walked to my office door, turned the knob, and stepped in.
    â€œSURPRISE!”
    My office was filled with people in party hats. Benny stood behind my desk, beaming. He led the roomful of friends in a rousing rendition of “Happy Birthday,” with Mary joining in from behind. The birthday cake was round and decorated to look like Busch Stadium. Written in white script on the green icing in the outfield was the message “Happy 32nd Birthday, Rachel.”
    I had completely forgotten that today was my birthday. As I leaned over to blow out the candles, I could feel my eyes watering. There were hugs and kisses and several gag gifts (including five pairs of edible panties from Benny, who explained to the grossed-out crowd that it seemed like a practical gift for both of us since I could use the underwear and he was always looking for a late-afternoon snack). After the cake and ice cream, the pizza and beer arrived.
    The last friends left around nine that night. After Benny, Mary, and I finished cleaning up, Benny offered to drive Mary and me home. Mary said she was meeting her boyfriend at the Esquire Theater for the ten o’clock show. We dropped her off at the corner of Oak Street, and then Benny pulled onto Lake Shore Drive.
    As we headed north on the Drive, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks,” I said. “That was the best birthday ever.”
    Benny shrugged. “Sure. My pleasure.”
    We drove in silence on the Drive.
    â€œI can’t believe I’m thirty-two,” I said glumly as I stared out the window toward Lake Michigan.
    â€œHey, I’m thirty-three,” he said as he pulled the car to a stop at the red light at the Hollywood exit at the end of Lake Shore Drive. “So what?”
    I shrugged. “Do you ever want to get married?”
    â€œAre you kidding me? Does the wild Pope shit in the woods? Married? How ‘bout tonight? We could fly to Vegas.”
    â€œNot to me, you bozo. I mean in principle.”
    â€œI’ve never been in a principal,” he said slipping into his Groucho Marx voice. “But I once had a great night with a gym teacher.”
    Benny turned right onto Sheridan after banging on the