Dear Nobody Read Online Free PDF Page A

her shoulders. I could see her reflected in the glass. She’s miles away, I thought. Where are you, Nell?
    Mr Garton grunted and sat down, smiling at us both, readyto let us chat to him. We didn’t talk. Helen still stood by the window lifting and lifting her hair, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I thought my staring at her must make her turn round to me again. I felt helpless. Ted Garton cleared his throat a few times and at last seemed to realize that he was in the way. After a bit he hummed loudly again and went into the back room and began to play the piano. Soon he would be so absorbed in his playing that he wouldn’t hear his wife Alice if she came in to complain, and the members of his band would have to be let in by whoever else was in the house because he’d never hear the doorbell.
    â€˜Talk to me, Helen,’ I said. I went over to her and turned her round, tilting up her chin so I could look at her. She clamped shut her eyes and set her mouth in a firm, hurt line. I wanted to kiss away the hurt, whatever it was, but she just bowed her head down again, and her mother came in. In the brief look that I caught before I let go of her I saw that she was afraid.
    Helen’s mother had flecks of white paint on her hair and her nose, her glasses and her hands. She was wearing an old shirt of her husband’s. She sank down into a kitchen chair and slipped off her shoes. One of her stockings had a toe hole in it, and she curled her big toe under to hide it.
    â€˜I’m tired out,’ she said. ‘Put the kettle on, Helen.’
    â€˜I’ll do it,’ I said. Helen stayed where she was, staring out into the night. I had to squeeze past her to get to the sink.
    â€˜If you think there’s a dinner waiting for you in the oven, you’re mistaken, my girl,’ said Mrs Garton. ‘It was help yourself night tonight. I’ve been busy.’
    â€˜I don’t want any,’ said Helen.
    â€˜I’ll do you some beans if you like,’ I offered.
    She shrugged. ‘I’m not hungry.’
    She sat down opposite her mother, and began systematically shredding the corners of a straw table mat till her mother leaned across and snatched it from her.
    I put two cups of coffee on the table and went back to the drainer for my own. Helen pushed hers away from her.
    â€˜And what’s wrong with that?’ her mother demanded.
    â€˜I don’t want it,’ said Helen. ‘I don’t like coffee.’
    â€˜First I’ve heard!’ I laughed, surprised. ‘You drink it by the gallon!’
    â€˜I didn’t ask for it in the first place.’
    â€˜Take it through to your father, then,’ said Mrs Garton. ‘It’ll wake him up out of his trance, maybe, before that gang of his arrives.’
    Helen sighed and did as she was told. Mrs Garton eyed me over the rim of her cup. I felt uncomfortable. It was as if she was trying to probe into my mind. I always felt awkward when I was left on my own with her.
    â€˜Had a tiff?’
    â€˜Not as far as I know.’
    â€˜Looks to me as if you have, whether you know it or not,’ she said. ‘I’m always having tiffs with Ted, and he never seems to notice either.’ She yawned. ‘Men! Insensitive bunch, the lot of you.’ She swivelled round to look at Helen as she came back in. ‘I think you’re sickening for something,’ she said. ‘Your eyes are watery. You might be in for a dose of flu.’
    â€˜I think I might be,’ Helen agreed. ‘I think I might have an early night.’
    â€˜You do,’ said Mrs Garton, satisfied. She nodded at me. ‘Looks as if you’ve got your marching orders, young man.’
    I shifted uncomfortably on my high stool. ‘I’ll just finish my coffee first.’ They were ganging up on me.
    She went over to the sink and squirted washing-up liquid on to her hands. She scrubbed at them viciously