Dear Lumpy Read Online Free PDF

hated standing out in anyway, so a big faux pas for him was turning up at an event in his best bib and tucker and finding the other guests in casual wear. Nidnod gets the blame again.

1973
    Budds Farm
    27 April
    Dearest L,
    I suppose your pillow has been soaked with tears as you lie in bed and think of the old folks (or is ‘soaks’ the more appropriate word) at Home. I miss you here as the house is tidier and the plug has been pulled in my loo. Your poor mother got ticked off by Aunt Pam for arriving late on Tuesday. Those two sisters!! Cringer slept almost on my pillow that night and I would have relished his company more had not his breath smelled strongly of rather ancient fish. I trust you will work hard this term. Take some exercise, too, and try and get into the Lacrosse fifteen or the football eleven or something like that. I will come down with a big smoked salmon picnic as soon as the weather is a bit warmer. Bring Snouter with you and one or two really cheeky friends. I met the toad in the herbaceous border again this morning and we are becoming friends. He has a crafty look so I address him as Harold Wilson. Cringer is very popular at the Carnarvon Arms where he dances for cold sausages. I had lunch at Ascot yesterday with old Lord Carnarvon and his bird who is about Jane’s age but not such a vast eater. I hear there is a beach at Corfu reserved for nudists. What price Emma landing up there?
    Best love,
    D
    I loved going on picnics with my father, always a jolly affair. After one such picnic the school matron caught him doing the sailor’s hornpipe down the passage wearing my school boater.
    Budds Farm
    Dearest L,
    Not much news from here except a cow got into the garden and did a lot of damage. Also an objectionable mole is creating much havoc and an elderly thrush elected to expire just outside the front door. Your brother is now living in London and I HOPE he manages to stay out of trouble! Your dear mother is flapping like an over-excited hen about various things to do with the Garth Hunt and I am expected to listen to her tales of woe and frustration. Your Aunt is back from Corfu and apparently enjoyed herself. When do you come home next so that I can lock up the silver and go away? How did you get on in your examinations? If you did badly, I shall probably export you to work in the salt mines in Poland so just WATCH IT!! The weather continues chilly, too cold even for croquet. I have not been able to wear my new leopardskin bathing pants yet.
    The new car continues to go well and is much admired by one and all. I have no news from Jane but assume she is still alive, not having heard anything to the contrary. Everything in the garden is horribly backward and the strawberries do not look like ripening till the autumn. There seems to be a good crop of raspberries. What a pity they upset your stomach and you will in consequence be unable to consume any. I will ask your dear mother to provide a health-giving junket for you instead.
    Best love,
    D
    In a moment of madness I had given Dad a pair of skimpily fitting leopardskin bathing trunks – they did not go down well. A few weeks later I caught him trying to palm them off on Mr Randall, the gardener.

1976
    Budds Farm
    Dearest L,
    I was very pleased to hear from you and I hope you are surviving the heat-wave and the novel experience of having to do some work. I expect it is dull for you down here but I sincerely hope you will come and visit your aged parents occasionally. You are always welcome, particularly if you can give a little notice of your impending arrival. As I am very old-fashioned in my ideas on the conduct of life, I would like to know quite clearly your position vis à vis Henry. Of course if you elect to live together there is nothing I could do about it even should I desire to do anything. But since I am your father and you are only eighteen, I would like to know more or less what the set-up is. Perhaps Henry would be kind enough to come