Dear Evie: The Lost Memories of a Lost Child Read Online Free PDF

thought.
     
    “Bill could tell you were especially nervous around him, so he tried to keep his distance, but at the same time he didn’t want you to think he didn’t want you here. It was a stressful time for all three of us.”
     
    She stroked my hair and looked at me, hoping I understood how difficult it was to balance everything at first. Knowing what a wonderful father Bill Tipton had been to me, I couldn’t imagine being afraid of him. He was as gentle and sweet as a lamb.
     
    “You and dad did a great job, Mom. I have always felt loved and wanted in this house… really.” My dad had been listening in the next room. He walked in and gave me a kiss on the top of my head while patting my shoulders.
     
    “You were loved, Katie, and still are,” he said.
     
    “I love both of you too. I hope you won’t take it as a reflection on the life I had here with you, but I need to remember my birth parents and my life prior to coming here. I need to do it for me. There are so many unanswered questions. Having no memory of my life before the age of ten makes me feel very unsettled. There are times when I feel like part of me is missing.”
     
    “We understand, Katie, and we will help in any way we can.”
     
    They both hugged me and assured me of their support, but I couldn’t help but notice the look of concern that passed between them. I knew in my gut that they were keeping things from me, but I would let it go for now.
     
    ***
     
    Despite the emotional unrest, it seemed life had returned to normal for our household. Gracie was keeping us on our toes with all the new responsibilities of having a child in school. She had assignments every night to practice her letters or work on recognition of words in preparation for learning to read. I had no memory of my early school years, but I knew from listening to my peers that things had come a long way. My mom had made the comment that the days of “See Spot run” were long gone. Gracie seemed so young to be doing that type of work, but she was astonishing. I wondered if I would be able to keep up as she progressed through the grades. Jason suggested that we may both have to return to school in order to help her in the future with homework. I knew he meant it as a joke, but I was seriously considering it. I had passed up college to marry Jason and had worked the first few years of our marriage while Jason took classes. By the time Jason got his degree, I was pregnant with Gracie and was unwilling to let someone else raise my child. I didn’t want the sitter to be the one to see her first steps or hear her first words. But now that she was in school and doing so well, it was the perfect time for me to go back to school as well.
     
    Why had I been so afraid for her? She was amazing me daily with her intelligence and independence. I sat and watched her pretending to be a teacher with her dolls one afternoon. This was her new favorite thing to play, and I was glad school was so much fun for her. I hoped she would keep that love for learning as she grew older. I loved to listen in as she corrected her “students.” She was asking her pretend class questions as she pointed to her little chalkboard.
     
    “Susie,” she said, “why are you talking when Miss Hunter is talking? Don’t you want to be a good girl?”
     
    I gasped at the question as if she had said a four letter word. For some reason those words sent a shock wave down my spine. Fear surged through me, and when those words left Gracie’s mouth, for the first time in weeks a flash of the little blond girl appeared. I saw her in the corner sitting with her arms wrapped around her legs, hiding her face in her knees. It was only a split second, but in that second I noticed every detail about her. The little light green dress she wore was dirty and wrinkled as if she had worn it for days, even while asleep. Her hair was still as tangled and matted as it had been in the dreams. And when a voice repeated in my