Dark Star: Confessions of a Rock Idol Read Online Free PDF Page B

to be straight with me, to cut through the lies, to be the one clear voice. All the others just want my money or to be able to say they’ve been with me…”
    Endora leaned forward, rubbed her cigarette out in the silver ashtray, and put her hand on my knee.
    “Everett,” she said quietly, “you have the power—the supernatural power—to send people home from your concerts different people, literally, different people. Do you realize that?”
    I didn’t say a word but instead tapped a small amount of marijuana into the thumb-sized bowl of the small silver pipe I found amid the junk on the table in front of me. Lifting the lifeline to my mouth and lighting the bowl with Endora’s red lighter, the small nest of weed lit up hot orange, a few seeds crackling and popping as I took the smoke deep into my chest.
    “If you don’t believe me, test it. During a show. Test the waters. I dare you. See how much power you really have.”
    “Endora, you’re weird, you know that? You’re always talkin’ so spiritual.”
    She tidied up the coffee table a bit, contemplating before she spoke. “The father and mother gods are loving beings who want all people to have joy—and the afterlife. I don’t believe in hell and damnation. It’s not true. I’ve communicated with too many people on the Other Side. I’ve heard from those who were supposed to have gone to hell. They’ve assured their families, by speaking through me, that they are okay. Everett, the dead are still involved in our lives!”
    “How do you know that for a fact?”
    “I’ve talked with them! Just like you and I are talking.” She pointed a long finger at me. “I believe all people can reach the father and mother gods, simply by growing in knowledge. Look at yourself, for instance. If you would begin to get a grip on the fact that you will live another glorious life after you die, you would set yourself free. You would have a whole different view of life.”
    “You’re saying I’m not going to hell?”
    “Of course not!” she said with a smoker’s laugh.
    “You don’t know what I’ve done.”
    “Yes I do,” she insisted, almost joyfully. “Everett, there is no hell. Only good awaits us. Don’t you see? When we understand that there is life on the Other Side for all of us, it frees us up to have liberty in the here and now. That is the message you have been chosen to deliver. This is real. Why else do you think we’ve been brought together?”
    The mixture of pot and booze was creeping up on me.
    “Something’s going to happen at tonight’s show,” she said suddenly, shifting in her seat and not making eye contact for a moment. “That is how the spirits will prove to you that they are moving with power in your life and prompting you to do as I say.”
    And she was right.
    Late in the concert that night in San Antonio, I treated our fans like slaves, just pushing them to see how far I could get them to go. The next day’s San Antonio Gazette quoted me as yelling these words to the crowd that night: “Hey, San Antonio, it’s gettin’ hot in here. And you know, if we’re not careful—ha, ha—we’re gonna burn this place to the ground! C’mon. Light it up…”
    And they did.
    The fire started slowly in about the thirtieth row on the floor as we ripped into our newest hit, “InSINerator.” We had seen small fires before, but as fans began to throw chairs, clothing, and alcohol into the flames, it flared and spread rapidly. The panic that ensued caused a stampede to the exits. Thirteen people were hospitalized in the mayhem, one girl almost suffocated to death, and I’m certain many more went home injured and frightened.
    Drugs helped me completely block out the fire in San Antonio along with all the other bad press. I didn’t check on any of the fans who were hurt, and I didn’t worry about getting into trouble with the law over what happened. We were the law. And we never had to look back, because the money and power behind