Dark Dreams Read Online Free PDF Page A

weren’t about me, I’d probably lap up every word.”
    Jana studied her friend. She seemed even smaller, her shoulders slightly bowed. Jana had always admired her eyes since they’d been young girls, but now, despite Sofia’s makeup, they were darker and more shadowed than usual. The lines around her mouth and on her forehead had not been there before.
    Jana tried to be encouraging. “Sofia, I know you. You’ll get through this.”
    Sofia grimaced, her lips thinning, then tried to sound light-hearted. “I like your optimism. In the dark of the night, when I can’t sleep, I’ll hold on to it. It’ll be my comfort blanket, protecting me against the dark.” She sighed. “At least I’ll try to hold on to it.” She took a sip of her own tea, reflecting. “I won’t hide it from you. I’m in a pit and I don’t see my way out.”
    “I’m sorry, Sofia.”
    Sofia reached over and touched Jana’s wrist in appreciation, then took a deep breath. “They’re after us like hounds closing in on their prey.”
    “How is he taking it?”
    “Not well. We can’t see each other. No phone calls. He thinks, from the information they’ve put out, that they’ve bribed some secretary, or the telephone company, or the landlord to record our conversations. The dogs want every chunk of us, every small bite, until they kill us.” She paused, reflecting on her life, trying not to sound too angry. Still, bitterness colored her words. “We pass in the halls and try not to look at each other. For us, life has shut down.”
    “And his wife?”
    Sofia’s lips tightened. “I think she was the one who first told the reporters. He says no, that she seemed shocked to learn of our ‘love nest,’ as they call it. She pretends it is not happening. She is brave, he says. I say nothing, but think horseshit . She knew. And she is the kind of woman who won’t admit it.”
    “I’ve heard wives are always supposed to know when a husband is unfaithful.”
    Sofia nodded, then fixed her eyes on Jana, studying her.
    “Did you know when your husband cheated on you?”
    “I don’t know if he was unfaithful, so I can’t answer the question.” Jana hesitated, trying to force herself to utter the words. “When he . . . when he died, I didn’t sense that any other woman had been involved in our lives.”
    Sofia made a rude noise. “All men cheat.”
    They sat in silence, each alone with her thoughts. Jana considered her life with Daniel. It had been hard, but not because of women. He had been a revolutionary, had robbed banks for his cause. A handsome man, charismatic, opinionated, willful. But, Jana thought, he had not chased other women. And, finally, when his world imploded, he’d committed suicide. The literal truth was that he had been unfaithful, but not in the way Sofia meant. There are many ways to be disloyal, to leave a mate, to renege on your word, to destroy trust. Her husband had promised, even though it was an implicit promise, that he would, at the least, do his best to stay alive for her. It is that one ultimate, unbreakable promise that every married couple makes. And Jana’s husband’s suicide had left its mark. He’d promised, then lied, and deserted her for eternity. The pain was still there.
    Jana turned her attention back to Sofia. “Sofia, you had to know when you began this affair that it was dangerous for an elected official to have a romance with another politician, particularly one who was married. He’s a deputy prime minister, Sofia. You’re a member of the Slovak parliament. Eventually, someone had to find out. It would be irresistible to the media.”
    Tears began flowing down Sofia’s cheeks. After a few seconds she began to rub them away, to pretend they were not there, as she struggled to remain in control of her emotions. “You don’t have to rebuke me, Jana. I know. I wake up in the morning, barely hold my tears concealed inside me all day, then go to sleep sobbing on my pillow at