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believed to be possible just the day before. I couldn’t hide here forever so I forced myself out of bed and walked around the house. Nothing was out of place. Nothing ever was. The front door was securely shut and locked. My reflection in the mirror on the wall caught my attention; who I saw was hardly recognizable. My hair was a mess from too many rough nights and not enough brushing.  My skin was starting to look stretched across my face making my cheek bones jut out. Large black circles nearly encased my eyes. I smiled a little bit, but it didn’t help. No wonder everyone was so scared of me, I looked like the monster they thought me to be. I believe haggard was the appropriate word.
    Eventually I shrugged off my image and walked away from the mirror.  Who did I have to impress? The only people I saw were Detective Troy—and I doubted he cared what I looked like—and Dr. Livingston. I certainly wasn’t interested in impressing him.
    I started going to see Dr. Livingston over a year ago and almost immediately he had become the bane of my existence. I knew my dislike for him was completely irrational, but that didn’t stop his mere existence from offending me. I hated the days I had to visit him more than my normal days, which was quite an accomplishment on his part. However, he held the keys to the medicine cabinet and I needed refills, thus him by association. Dr. Livingston was a stickler on not missing appointments and being on time.
    I showered, dressed and brushed my hair, though still didn’t bother with makeup. I called a cab then scrounged for something that didn’t have alcohol in it that could pass for breakfast. Unfortunately, nothing fitting those very specific requirements was present. What I had fit no requirements whatsoever.  A block of cheese that had more green than the grass in my front yard, a completely spoiled half gallon of milk that I was willing to bet would be as lumpy as it was pungent, and something else that was entirely unrecognizable—bon appétit! Given my lack of culinary choices, I would have to grab something on the way to Dr. Livingston’s. I opened the door, deciding to wait for the cab on the porch—and was surprised by the sight of Doug was walking away from the house.
    “Hey,” I called out to him.
    He turned around, looking surprised “I’ve been knocking on your door for ten minutes.”
    “I didn’t hear you.”
    He started back towards me. “I’d given up. I was about to head back to tell Susan you weren’t home.”
    “I could’ve been in the shower,” I said but felt uneasy. How had I not heard the knock? “What’s going on?” I asked, curious as to why they were suddenly bugging me again. It was one thing for Susan to show up, but Doug wasn’t the type to reach out. It was strange Susan sent him to check on me.
    “Susan is … concerned. Since she dropped you off the other night, she’s done nothing but worry, has hardly even slept”
    “You don’t look like you’ve had much sleep either,” I said with as much sympathy as I could muster, which admittedly wasn’t much.
    “Well, when Susan doesn’t sleep, no one does,” he said dryly.
    I almost laughed.  “Yeah, why don’t I find that surprising?”
    “So is everything okay?”
    “I’m really tired of people asking me that, but yes, it’s fine. Why wouldn’t it be?” I said a little snappier than I had intended.
    “Just asking …” Doug looked like he wanted to escape. He kept glancing back behind him like he was looking for an excuse. “You know Susan misses you …we both do. You should come around more. Danny wouldn’t have wanted you to close yourself off.”
    I smiled tightly.  “I’m sorry, but you knew Danny for what, two seconds? I don’t think you have any idea what he would or would not have wanted for me. You know nothing about him… or me.” My cab pulled up saving both of us from our own awkwardness. “I have to go.” In the cab I breathed a sigh of relief