Damsel Disaster! Read Online Free PDF Page B

slowly and nervously, he began to climb.
    Gradually Sir Spencer got closer and closer to the top. Only a few rungs to go and he’d be within reach of the dummy. But suddenly the ladder gave an ominous creak. Sir Spencer squealed.
    “Go on, Sir Spencer,” bleated Algernon. “You can do it!”
    Sir Spencer grinned faintly. He carefully put his foot on the next rung and hauled himself up.
    CRACK!
    The rung snapped in two. Sir Spencer’s legs flailed about in mid-air as he clung on for dear life. The ladder wobbled horribly.

    “Waaah!” Sir Spencer wailed in terror.
    “Hey, Spencer,” called Sir Roland. “I forgot to mention why I didn’t choose the ladder. It’s riddled with woodworm!
Hur-hur-hur!
”
    At last the ladder stopped wobbling.Very slowly, Sir Spencer began to climb the last couple of rungs to the battlements.
    We watched with bated breath.
    Algernon was so nervous he started jiggling up and down like he desperately needed a wee.
    At last Sir Spencer reached the top. He clung on to the ladder with one hand and quickly grabbed a dummy with the other.
    “Oh, bravo, Sir Spencer!” cried Algernon. “I knew you’d do it!’
    “N-no problemo!” Sir Spencer called. “B-back in a jiffy!”
    He was holding the dummy rather awkwardly round the waist and, as he climbed down, the dummy’s headwalloped each rung with a
thonk
. Before long I noticed a small white cloud around Sir Spencer.
    “Are those feathers?” I said, turning to Patchcoat.
    “Looks like it,” he replied. “I think the stuffing’s coming out of the dummy.”
    Sir Spencer suddenly stopped.
    “Bother!” he called. “I think I’m going to snee-ee-ee-ah-ah-
A-TISHOO
!”
    With the force of the sneeze Sir Spencer flew backwards, yanking the ladder away from the wall again so that it stood dead upright. At the same time, there was a horrible splitting and cracking sound as Sir Spencer slid down several rungs, snappingeach one as he went.
    The ladder swayed. It teetered. It tottered. For a few seconds it looked like it would just drop back against the wall. But no. We gasped as it began to tilt in the direction of … the lake!
    “Algie!” wailed Sir Spencer. “Do something!”
    Algernon ran to the ladder and desperately tried to hold it. But it was no use.
    “Help! Help!” hollered Sir Spencer. “Aaaaaarrgh! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
    The ladder, the dummy and Sir Spencer plummeted into the water with a tremendous SPLASH!
    Algernon ran to help Sir Spencer out of the lake. As Sir Spencer sloshed on to the bank he seemed unharmed. But he was covered from head to toe in slime and mud.
    “My new cloak!” he howled, spitting out a mouthful of frogspawn. “It’s ruined!”

    The High Steward cried “Disqualified!” but we hardly heard her above Sir Roland’s roars of laughter. We had a hard job not laughing ourselves. “You failed on three counts,” she went on. “One, bashing the lady’s head on the rungs. Two, failure to bring the lady back safely. And three, receiving assistance from your squire. Sir Spencer, kindly leave the castle!”
    “Bad luck, old bean!” said Sir Percy, trying not to grin.
    “Hey, Spencer, that was epic!” guffawed Sir Roland. “An epic FAIL!
Hur-hur-hur!
”
    The High Steward escorted the squelching Sir Spencer back to the boat. “Right, Sir Percy!” she said. “Your turn!”
    In a split second Sir Percy’s face switched from a smirk to a look of sheer panic.
    “Come along!” said the High Steward impatiently. “We haven’t got all day!”
    Sir Percy sighed and slipped into the pavilion. After a minute or two I heard him cry, “Splendid! The very thing!” He then emerged with what looked like a sort of round table tucked under his arm.
    “What’s that, Sir Percy?” I asked. Peering more closely I saw that it was basically a wide metal hoop on four legs, with tough leather stretched tightly across the top. “Is it some kind of drum?”
    “This is a
battle-bouncer
,” smiled Sir Percy,