Crime Writers and Other Animals Read Online Free PDF

wonderful sex last night to celebrate the fact.’
    â€˜How did you do it, George?’
    Her husband shrugged modestly. ‘I knew what you were planning. I brought brandy and brandy butter with me, and, while I was getting our scrambled egg last night, substituted mine for yours, putting most of your drugged stuff into the supermarket pot in the fridge. So I was eating ordinary brandy butter and drinking ordinary brandy.’
    â€˜And what I destroyed last night was the supermarket stuff?’
    George nodded cheerfully. ‘That’s right. Then I just pretended to pass out and stayed that way, while you fetched Trevor and manhandled me into the garage. I knew it’d take a while before the fumes in the car built up to noxious levels, so I stayed for five minutes after you’d closed the garage doors, then let myself out.
    â€˜All I had to do after that was wait till Trevor went back to his cottage and follow him. Through the window I watched him with his kids, saw them putting out the mince pie and brandy by the fireplace for Father Christmas. When he went up to put the kids to bed, I nipped in, replaced the brandy with some of your drugged stuff and put a huge dollop of doctored brandy butter in the mince pie.
    â€˜Thereafter it was just a matter of waiting and watching. Eventually Trevor ate and drank the stuff. Pretty soon after that, he fell asleep, out cold in his armchair. I’d brought a pair of your stilettos with me for the purpose, and wore them as I dragged him across to the garage. The rest you know.’
    â€˜Not all of it,’ Natalie objected. ‘I still swear it was your body I found in the car this morning.’
    â€˜Oh yes. When I heard you getting up, I moved Trevor’s body out – bit tricky that, he was already stiff with rigor mortis – but I managed. I tucked him under the front of the Volvo and got into the driver’s seat myself. I knew you wouldn’t look too closely once you’d identified me. Then, as soon as you’d gone, I got out and put Trevor’s body back in place.’
    The light of hatred burned in Natalie’s eyes as she stared at her husband. ‘But how? How did you know what I was planning?’
    George smiled complacently. ‘Wasn’t difficult. You’ve never had that much imagination, Natalie. As soon as I heard you mention the tumble-drier hose on the answering machine, I knew exactly what your murder method would be.’ In response to her quizzical look, he went on, ‘Because it was exactly how your first husband died, wasn’t it? Even down to the detail of using a tumble-drier hose.’ George Marshall let out another gleeful chuckle. ‘I should know. I was the one who fixed that.’
    All colour drained from his wife’s cheeks. ‘You? You killed Robert? You mean, it wasn’t suicide?’
    â€˜No, of course it wasn’t. You’d never have married me while he was alive, and I very much wanted you to marry me. Generally speaking, Natalie,’ he concluded smugly, ‘I get the things I want.’
    â€˜But . . .’ Now there was a pleading look in his wife’s eyes. ‘Don’t you still want me, George?’
    â€˜Oh no,’ he replied. ‘Not any more. Not since you took up with Trevor. I found that very hurtful, you know, and I was determined to punish you for what you’d done to me. Now I’ve had my proper revenge, I’ll give you that divorce you so wanted, darling. No percentage for me being married to someone who’s in prison, is there?’
    It was at that moment Inspector Jeavons came forward to lead Natalie Marshall to the waiting car.
    From his sitting-room window, George Marshall watched the police convoy disappearing down the lane. He dialled his mistress’s number. And when she answered, he said, ‘Happy Christmas, darling.’

BEST BEHAVIOUR
    I know how to behave. I do. That’s one thing my