Crash Read Online Free PDF

else. Not today.
    “Sorry, Janine. I just want to get out of here.”
    Maybe there was a bit too much bitterness in my voice. Ugly thoughts swam in my head as I gazed back at her. I had seniority over Janine, but that didn’t matter.
    Her eyes shined with nauseating pity.
    “You’ll come back, won’t you?”
    Shouldering my purse, I shrugged at her and walked out of the office. I slammed the elevator button as I thought what I should do.
    Telling my best friend what happened was my first instinct, but I knew it would give me little comfort to have her look into my eyes with the same pitying expression I used to give her. It was embarrassing.
    Poor Natalie. You have so many problems. Supportive, middle class upbringing. Zero student loans or credit card debt . Christ, I would never measure up to her. The problem with having a best friend like her was that we could never see eye to eye. How could Jessica ever sympathize with someone like me? Knowing about her shitty childhood made me feel like I didn’t have a right to be unhappy.
    Maybe I would just go home and visit my parents for the weekend. I thought longingly of home: the oak trees, the ranch-style house where I grew up, the sparkling pool, the sunshine pouring through the kitchen, the comfortable beds, and Mom’s cooking.
    What would Mom say?
    I chewed my lip the whole way home. Dad will be angry . He never really supported my decision to major in graphic design. Graphic designers were a dime a dozen, and competition was fierce. Unless you got lucky, it didn’t pay very well. But that wasn’t the point. I majored in it because I loved how something simple as a logo could evoke the aura of an entire company and become so widespread that it was part of culture itself. Every decision of color, font, no matter how small—was monumental. Sure it was commercial, but it was still art.
    Somehow, I lost sight of that. I forgot about making art. I was just going through the motions.
    I shot off a quick text to Jessica, explaining what happened and where I was going. My phone vibrated and lit up with a call that I knew was from her. The phone blared with its merry tune until it fell silent and died. I just didn’t feel like talking about it. I picked it up and my face reflected in the dark glass. Then I called my mom.
    * * *
    “I don’t understand. Why did they fire you?”
    The fork clattered loudly against the ceramic plate. Frustration boiled my blood, but I didn’t raise my voice. “I was not fired. Laid off. There’s a difference. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
    Mom and Dad sat around me on the dark, rectangular kitchen table; their aged faces basked in orange light. The kitchen was unique because half of its walls were made of glass. As a result, the kitchen gleamed with light even though it was five in the evening. The whole house was always filled with sunshine and usually I preferred it for that reason. It contrasted heavily against my gloomy apartment. The change in scenery did nothing to alleviate my mood.
    Dad gave me a doubtful look that made me grind my teeth together.
    “You obviously did something wrong if they got rid of you and not the newer hires.”
    That’s true. I shoved the doubt away. “There are plenty of jobs on LinkedIn. I’m going to call my agency on Monday.”
    My mother swiveled in her chair to talk to Dad. “Maybe it was because she took so many days off for that girl.”
    Bored, I looked up from my plate to glare at her. Her tactics were as subtle as a flying brick. It took me years to understand them. “You know her name—Jessica. She’s only been my best friend since I was thirteen. And no, it wasn’t because of that.”
    “Maybe if you weren’t spending so much time helping her, your life wouldn’t be such a mess.”
    “Tom!”
    The snappy comment really took me off guard. I could feel Dad’s disappointment rolling from him like heat lamp.
    Both of them took to Ben very well. He was a hotshot lawyer with a good