see her mind ticking over.
We discussed the subject a little while longer before we headed back into the house. I didn’t realize just how much information I had on the subject until I started talking about it and realized that was part of the reason I wasn’t in such a hurry to turn Tina in. Lawyer or not, I knew the reality of the current justice system better than most and I wasn’t willing to throw my friend under the bus. I argued all of the points with myself but still came back to the same conclusion, Tina was my friend, and it was that simple.
Despite that decision I called a lawyer friend in Atlanta and got some advice about lawyers in Florida. I contacted the lawyer and apparently my friend had already made a phone call. I arranged a meeting for a few days from then and waited for Tina to be released from the hospital. She was released the next day and the fragile little bird we brought home was a far cry from the rude brat we’d met a few days ago, and even further from the woman we’d grown to love.
Tina was somehow broken, her experiences finally catching up with her. She spent the first hour crying in her bed, both of us with her as she cried out her sorrow. I knew what was coming was going to be brutal and tried to prepare myself. I don’t think a year of preparation would have helped.
“I’m awake now. I don’t think I have been for months now.” Tina started. Even my memories feel like they were just dreams. Oh God, I owe you two such an apology. I owe so many apologies!”
She started crying again then but it only lasted a few moments. She was speaking again soon enough and her words chilled me.
“It started out as a way to have fun. To loosen up when Tony took me to some of the clubs he liked the best in Atlanta. I didn’t mean to become a habitual user.” I noted she didn’t say addict but let it slide. “First it was just pot, then pills. Then pills and booze. It just kept growing.” Tina’s voice went higher as she spoke until she was almost screeching.
“Shh, honey, calm down.” Amber tried to soothe her.
“No, you don’t understand. I’m a terrible person and I don’t deserve either of you. I really don’t. I wasn’t me on those drugs, the things I did, the things I saw. I started using the drugs more as a way to numb myself to the memories, to get through the day and then I just needed them. The cravings were so horrible, bone-deep and soul-crushing. Nothing could stop them and I started letting Tony convince me to do things.”
I tensed at this point. I wasn’t sure I wanted her to continue. But she carried on, even though my brain wanted me to run away.
“We were robbing the vacation houses. We’d rob one, fence the goods, find another one online to rent for a day, find out the codes and where keys were hidden, then go back a week later and rob it. We’d use the money to buy drugs and rent the next place. I have an entire notebook with security codes in it.” Tina waved in the direction of her bags. That explained that then. I’d seen the notebook but didn’t have a clue what the numbers meant.
“Tony decided to stay at the house we always stay at because I knew where the keys were. I was at another hotel then and he called me, told me to get over to the house because he had some fun planned for us. I had no idea what he had in store for us but I went. By that time I’d learned not to question him. I’d had enough slaps and kicks.” Tina’s eyes went dark and I took her hand, gripping it tight.
“I got to the house and I could hear noises from upstairs. I knew Tony had another woman up there and I just couldn’t face it again. I couldn’t do it. He heard me when I tripped over a plant and demanded I come upstairs and join them. I didn’t want to but I was afraid not to. You don’t know what he’s like when he’s angry!” Tina’s eyes revealed the desperation she must have felt in that moment.
“What happened honey?” I urged her to