Cover Me: A Rock Star Romance Read Online Free PDF Page A

bawling against his chest. I was an emotional disaster. How could I not be? It was him . The man I thought of—with enormous amounts of self-loathing—ninety percent of the time when I masturbated. He was a fantasy, not a reality. Not anymore.
    Now I knew what it was like to be held and kissed and touched by him. What his rough stubble felt like scraping over my nipple. What his hips felt like pressed between my thighs. What his hard, silky-soft cock felt like with my hand wrapped around it.
    And I wanted more.
    And it would hurt so badly in the end.
    Because Derek Bast couldn’t be trusted with my heart. He’d take care of my body, that he’d proven, but he’d also proven that my feelings were worth nothing to him. I couldn’t let any amount of sexual pleasure make me forget that.
    Keeping emotionally detached was key. I could rinse off in his shower, slip into a pair of his boxer briefs and cozy up in his big t-shirt, but I couldn’t invest my heart. The mind had to rule when it came to being close to Derek Bast.
    I regretted it, though. I’d never in my life wanted to jump without a net, abandon myself to vulnerability like I did with Derek. I wanted to love him with everything inside me. With every ounce of my being.
    Hence the tears. And we didn’t even have sex. But, we shared a closeness that meant more to me than anything else.
    There had been this constant back and forth between us before he hurt me. Before we kissed the first time. We were young and there was social status to think of, the ranks of high school. He was cool and I was not. But by the time we were eighteen and faced graduation and endless possibilities of our futures, none of what kept us apart seemed to matter anymore.
    Except it must have. To him.
    How could you be more than physically close to someone who didn’t even realize when he wronged you?
    You couldn’t.
    You’d always be expecting the worst and would probably get it.
    I bundled up my clothes and opened the bathroom door. The only evidence that we’d been together was the scuffed and flattened patterns in the carpet by the door. Not to mention the occasional twinge of pleasure between my legs.
    There was no wishing myself home. I had to go out there and face him. The problem was I knew the moment I laid eyes on him, I’d want to touch him. I’d want to stand on tip-toe and press my lips to his. I’d want him for my own. But, he wasn’t mine to have and never had been.
    Enough thinking. I stood tall, pushed my shoulders back and left the bedroom.
    I found him right around the corner in the great room, sitting in a blanket fort in front of a fire in the fireplace with all the glass doors open to the outside. My heart lodged in my throat.
    “Remember when it got cool enough for my dad to start a fire, we’d pull all the blankets off the beds in my house and drag all the kitchen chairs into the family room and make a fort?” He held his hands up, gesturing to the quilted roof above his head. “I put the burgers on the grill and brought our wine inside. Come under with me.”
    I looked down at my hands. I couldn’t do this. I knew this perfect man was only a piece of the whole puzzle and the rest of it would fall apart like the blanket fort that surrounded him. My heart was screaming: Go in, drink wine, make love and spend the night in his arms. My head was urging: You know better. Be smart about this.
    “Bess?” He scooted out of the fort and stood. I let my eyes feast on him standing in front of me in nothing but his boxer briefs. “I figured it would only be fair if I was walking around in my underwear, too.” He took my hand. “What is it? It doesn’t look like anything good.”
    I lifted my eyes to his and let the fear and wonder in their green depths sink into me. “It’s fast,” I said. “That’s all. It’s very fast.”
    His thumb stroked the back of my hand. “For someone you’ve known your whole life?”
    “Time has passed. There are—we’re not