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women’s fertility normally decreases after age thirty-two, that it was wise to be tested for problems sooner than later.
    Then he proceeded to check our general health, and thank goodness, we were both fine.
    He asked us questions about our lifestyle, like smoking, alcohol, and caffeine consumption.
    He also asked about possible environmental exposure to eliminate other factors that might cause infertility. Finally, he tested Joshua’s sperm count.
    â€œSo no other births? Live births, miscarriages, or abortions?” the doctor questioned.
    It took everything in me to answer. “I aborted twins about eleven years ago, when I was in college.”
    â€œWere there any complications?” Dr. Henley looked over his glasses.
    â€œIt was sloppy, and I contracted an infection where I almost bled to death a week later,” I said.
    Joshua held my hand. “That’s the main reason she’s afraid she can’t conceive.”
    â€œI see.” Dr. Henley steadily wrote notes in his pad.
    â€œWe’ll have to test for PID, pelvic inflammatory disease.” Dr. Henley looked up from his notes and his eyes met mine. “It’s a very serious pelvic inflammation resulting from untreated vaginal or cervical infections. It does damage to the reproductive tract, often scarring and blocking the fallopian tubes. Scarring like this prevents fertilization from ever occurring.”
    I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “That sounds so harsh.”
    â€œUnfortunately, it is. PID is one of the main causes for infertility in women. But the good news is that I believe in the supernatural healing power of God above all else.”
    â€œAmen,” Joshua said.
    â€œI’ve seen many babies born since I’ve been in this field. About two-thirds of all infertile couples are able to have a child. There are the natural remedies like medicine, surgery, artificial insemination, or assisted reproductive technology. And then there is the mighty hand of God. My colleagues don’t necessarily agree with all my methods, but prayer changes things.” Dr. Henley set his clipboard down.
    â€œWe agree with you, Doctor,” Joshua said.
    Dr. Henley smiled. “Good.”
    I was too shaken up to say anything.
    One month later I trembled at the thought of even seeing Dr. Jason Henley again.
    One more test. One more doggone needle or urine sample and I was going to scream. We were monitoring my body temperature, positioning, diet, and anything else that was recommended. I was tired, stressed out, and ready to give up trying at what seemed to be so impossible. Obviously, I just wasn’t up to the task.
    â€œWhy don’t you try those breathing techniques right before you leave home so you’ll be more relaxed by the time you get here,” Dr. Henley said.
    I couldn’t hold it in any longer, so I broke down right on the table. Tears began to run down my cheeks. I wasn’t sure why I was even crying, but Dr. Henley consoled me with his gentle spirit.
    â€œWhy don’t you go on home and talk to your husband,” he suggested.
    I nodded in agreement, but I knew that Joshua would never truly understand. Everything I was going through was for him. Everything I was feeling was because of him. And even though he was kind and alluring, I had absolutely no desire left in me.
    When I came home, I threw down my purse and sat in the dark hunched over for two hours, waiting for Joshua to return from work.
    I heard his keys in the lock, but I didn’t move. “Hey, baby. What’s wrong?” Joshua walked over to where I was sitting on the couch.
    â€œI’m tired, Josh.”
    â€œWhy don’t you let me help you to bed then?”
    â€œNo, I’m tired of trying, tired of everything.” Tears dripped freely from my eyes.
    â€œOh, come on, baby, we can’t give up now,” Joshua said.
    â€œThat’s easy for you to say, but you just don’t