Count It All Joy Read Online Free PDF

started.
    Mother Benning put up her hand to cut me off. “Please, dear. Stay out of this one.”
    My first reaction was to disappear from the room, but I decided not to let her bully me in my own house, so I stayed put.
    â€œJoshua Douglas Benning the Third,” Mother Benning said.
    Oh, it was on now.
    Joshua sighed. “Yes, Mother?”
    â€œYou’re our only child, the only heir to our estate.” Mother Benning’s jaws looked like they were tightening as the words sneaked from her lips.
    â€œI know, Mother.” Joshua clasped his hands.
    Mother Benning patted her foot. “Then why can’t you give me a straight answer? Are you or are you not going to pastor our church?”
    He dropped his hands and looked his mother straight in the eyes. “No, Mom. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

Chapter Three
    Alex
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    Two weeks went by with Joshua’s dad’s condition gradually worsening as well as his relationship with his mother. According to him, his mother never directly mentioned the incident again, but she alluded to it all the time. She even mailed a personal postcard invitation to a church event to our home and addressed it to her only son. Still, I couldn’t believe that fourteen days had passed and she had not even called. Not once. Not even to speak to Lilah. Apparently no one ever said no to a woman like Mother Benning. She was, after all, very powerful, both in political and religious circles. Not to mention that she was a powerhouse in the family circle as well. Joshua walked around, moping most of the time, yet he refused to talk about it or to admit that he was hurting.
    In the meantime, he found solace in fulfilling his vision of having a child with me, trying every chance he got to get me pregnant. Not that trying wasn’t fun most of the time, but the stress was unbelievable. All I wanted to do was have an intimate connection with my husband, but all he was concerned with was fertilizing eggs. Not exactly something to get a girl in the mood. Finally, when the romantic flames had fizzled out, along with my patience, we sat down to have a serious conversation. Now that’s what I was really afraid of— talking . Talking always led to doing in our household. We talked mostly about my feelings following the abortion. Our talk revealed the fact that although I spent years in and out of illicit relationships trying to become pregnant again, I never could. Joshua handled the information well because he knew that old things were passed away and that I was a new creation.
    Against my better judgment, I finally agreed to visit a fertility specialist, one who came highly recommended by a couple from our church. Joshua and I agreed that even though we were both nervous, we would surrender our anxieties to the Lord in prayer.
    One week later, a strawberry-scented nurse led us to Dr. Henley’s office, which was decorated in mahogany. His degrees and licenses covered the mint-green-colored walls. Joshua and I sat in matching green leather chairs, staring through the window at the panoramic view of Manhattan. Finally, the doctor entered the room. He was tall, with blue eyes and dark hair with gray around the edges.
    â€œGood afternoon, I’m Doctor Jason Henley.” He extended his hand.
    Joshua shook his hand and pointed to me. “Hello, I’m Joshua Benning, and this is my wife, Alex.”
    Dr. Henley turned toward me with a smile. “Nice to meet you both. Is Alex short for Alexandria?”
    â€œNo, sir,” I stuttered as I shook his hand. “Just Alex, sir.”
    â€œNo need to be so formal. I want you to feel comfortable here,” Dr. Henley said.
    He first asked us about our specific concerns, and believe me, there were many.
    Then he explained that since we had only been trying for three months that there might be absolutely nothing wrong with either of us. However, he did agree that with me being over thirty, and since