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come you lived? ” I ’ d asked her.
    She carefully rearranged herself in bed, sitting up against some pillows. She put her arm around me and pulled me close. “ I guess because someone had to be here to raise you. ”
    “ No, really, Mom, ” I ’ d urged her. “ Were you hurt? ”
    “ Yes, ” she answered quickly. “ I had broken some bones. I was in a coma for a few days, and... well, my heart was broken, too, ” she added. “ I ’ d lost my best friend. ” I ’ d learn later that she left out a very significant detail.
    “ And your boyfriend. ”
    “ Yes. And my boyfriend. ”
    “ So Granna could have really been my grandma? ”
    “ Well, Livvy, I don ’ t think I would have ever met you if he hadn ’ t passed away. I only had the chance to meet you because your Dad volunteered at the hospital you were at. Do you remember that night? ”
    They ’ d told me the story so many times that I wasn ’ t sure if I remembered the night I met Jack and Emi or if my imagination just built around their description of that Christmas Eve when I pulled on my dad ’ s tie and instantly worked my way into their hearts.
    “ Yeah. ”
    “ That was probably the best thing that ’ s ever happened to Dad and me. Meeting you. ”
    “ It ’ s the best thing that ’ s ever happened to me, too, ” I had told her. We were quiet for some time, reflecting on that night. At least I was.
    “ You know the smock you wear when you paint? ”
    “ Yeah? ”
    “ It ’ s actually a dress. ” I had figured that out quickly when I saw the typical smocks at the art school I attended. “ I was wearing the dress the night Nate first told me he loved me. He was painting, and I hugged him and got paint on the dress. ”
    “ Why didn ’ t you wash it? ” I ’ d asked.
    “ Oh, I did. Carefully. I hand-washed it, but I was careful not to remove the paint. I wanted to hold on to a little piece of that night. It was a pretty special night. ”
    “ Did you love him? ”
    “ Of course, ” she told me.
    “ Like you love Daddy? ”
    “ Yeah, a little like that. But I have to be honest, Liv, your daddy has made me the happiest woman in the world. I love him and I ’ m very much in love with him. Still. ”
    “ What ’ s the difference? ”
    “ Hmmm, ” she began, contemplative. “ You know how you love your cousins, your grandparents, even me and Daddy? ”
    “ Yeah. Like, they ’ re family. ”
    “ Right. Nate was kind of like family to me. ”
    “ But Daddy ’ s family. ”
    “ Right, Daddy ’ s family now . How can I explain this? ” she struggled. “ With Daddy, I kind of picked him, to love him... to fall in love with him. And I couldn ’ t help it. My heart just made me go to him. ” I looked at her, unsatisfied with her simplistic answer. “ Let ’ s see. With our family, we just accept who we have, and we care about them first because of who they are. And then as time goes on, that caring turns into love. ”
    “ But Nate wasn ’ t family. ”
    “ But he was to me. I don ’ t know how to explain this, Livvy. We just cared about each other first, and that caring turned into love. It just kind of happened. Does that make sense? ”
    “ No, ” I told her with a frown.
    “ Well, someday you ’ ll understand. When you fall in love with someone. ”
    “ How will I know? ”
    “ Your heart will tell you, Livvy. There will be no question. ”
    Even with that explanation, though, so many questions raced through my head that night. For Granna ’ s sake, I had always wondered what her life would be like if Nate was still here. She spoke so highly of him, and always talked about his exceptional talents. And that night, when I knew my mom had once loved him, I couldn ’ t help but wonder what her life would be like now if he had lived. My imagination began to blossom with ideas.

    Over the five years following that night, I ’ ve continued to wonder, what if... but recently, I ’ d become obsessed with