Conflicted Innocence Read Online Free PDF Page A

woman. Couldn’t her family help?”
    “Her mother lived down the road, but she wasn’t much use. And her little sister was more interested in boy bands and mobile phones to be any help.”
    “That’s terrible.” I had masses of help after Grace was born with three dads and a grandad who couldn’t get enough of her. So when I needed a little time to myself, there was never a shortage of eager arms to hand her to.
    Auntie Beryl, my mum’s best friend, was the closest thing to a mother I had since my lovely mum passed away. All the questions I had about caring for a baby were answered by her. She lived a few houses up from my dad. I couldn’t imagine how I would have coped, being alone and exhausted like poor Lydia.
    We reached the corner where the crazy man from yesterday had been. I glanced around hoping we wouldn’t bump into him again.
    “I didn’t know when it started, but Lydia, rightly or wrongly, turned to the bottle. It was the only way she could cope. You know how I feel about alcohol abuse, but I couldn’t blame her. She needed something, and it happened to come in liquid form.”
    “What did she do? Get on with it. The suspense is killing me.”
    “I need to make it clear to you how desperate she was. She was a good and decent woman before all this. And studies show she was suffering from postnatal depression.”
    “I get it. I honestly don’t know how I would manage in her shoes.”
    “Okay then. Early one morning, she ran a bath and put the baby in it. He was eight months old at the time and although he could sit up by himself he often didn’t stay upright.”
    I nodded again, remembering that stage well.
    “Now, Lydia doesn’t remember any of this. She recalls filling the bath, but then she said she went for a lie-down. She awoke when her little sister arrived and found the baby face down in the water.”
    I gasped, my hand flying to my throat.
    “I’ll never forget that bloodcurdling scream. When I got there, Lydia was trying to resuscitate her baby. She wouldn’t allow anyone else near him. She was like a wild animal.”
    “That’s so sad.” Goose pimples covered my entire body and tears filled my eyes. “I couldn’t begin to imagine how she must have felt.”
    “The baby was clearly dead. He was already blue.”
    “Poor Lydia. In fact, poor Lee for that matter! I wish you’d told me all this before I met him. I wouldn’t have asked him if he had children if I’d known.”
    “I wanted to, but I didn’t want you to judge them before you met them.”
    “Them? I thought you said they weren’t together?”
    “I said that in front of Simon and Kevin because I didn’t want to go into it then. But Lydia was prosecuted for killing Joseph. She was meant to be released in a few weeks, but they just rang Lee to tell him they’ve brought the release date forward to Wednesday for some reason. That’s why he’s in such a panic.”
    “I see. But I’m still confused. Where’s he gone then?”
    “He bought a cottage just past Mansfield on the Sheffield road. He didn’t want to bring her back here, and I must admit I don’t blame him, but I can’t see he has a choice now.”
    “What a mess. Is there anything we can do? We could tidy up this house perhaps? If he’s gonna have to bring her home here.”
    “I’ll call him later. I have a key, so that may be a good idea if he doesn’t mind us going through his stuff.”
    “I hope not. I’d like to do something for them. It’s so tragic what happened.”
    We’d reached the playground and Grace was wriggling and trying to escape her pushchair.
    As I walked around the front of her to let her out, James grabbed my hand and pulled me into his arms, planting a kiss on my lips.
    “What was that for?” I asked, surprised.
    “I knew you’d understand. But a lot of people around here have been nasty, saying she deserved all she got and that Lee is no better for standing by her.”
    “Well, I’m not like them, obviously. I