Come Alive Read Online Free PDF

already worries about you too much when
she should be focusing on herself right now.”
    I
looked over at Gretchen for backup, but she only shrugged. “She’s probably right, Liv . Remember what we talked about? This weekend is
about Lucy.”
    My
eyes drifted back to Dani and narrowed. I imagined
David sitting next to her, touching her hair and rubbing her back. He would
smile mildly at me and that’d be the worst part. His eyes would regard me
impassively, like an old friend. Maybe he still had that passion, but it would be
for her or someone else. Not for me. He wouldn’t look at me the same anymore.
    ~
    I stumbled into
the apartment and shut the heavy door quietly behind me. I tossed my keys at
the table but missed, so they landed on the floor with a clang. Stifling a
laugh, I kicked off my heels. Tiptoe, tiptoe, shh . . . .
    “Shit, fuck!” I hissed.
    “ Liv ?”
    “Sorry babe, I hin my shit. Er ,
I hit my shin on the bed,” I said, giggling.
    The bed rustled with movement. “How was it?”
    “Good,” I responded, and I could see his teeth flash in the dark. “We
drank pink Cosmos at dinner and then tequila and . . . other stuff, I
don’t remember.”
    “So you had fun?”
    “Yup. You?”
    “Yeah, we had a good time too. Andrew’s brothers are a little immature,
but whatever.”
    “Gretchen fell off a curb.” I snickered and then broke into a fit of
laughter, clutching my side.
    “You seem better,” he said cautiously when I’d recovered.
    Am I? I didn’t know how to respond, because I wasn’t sure.
Since my talk with Gretchen, I had tried to be more affable. I didn’t feel back
to normal, but I wasn’t sure I ever would. How could I, knowing what I did? How
could things ever go back to the way they were?
    “Bill,” I said softly. “Do you believe in soul mates?”
    I heard the sheets rustle again and jumped when he touched me. He rotated
me and unzipped my party dress so it fell to the ground. His figure rose from
the bed, and he found my lips with a gentle kiss.
    “Wait,”
I said when he pulled away. I wrapped my arms around his neck. It felt nice to
be kissed and touched after months of loneliness. Maybe being with Bill again
would remind me of our love. He could end my ongoing inner battles.
    He
removed his boxers quickly as we kissed and then urged me backward onto the
bed. He climbed atop me, and I held his face to mine. When he nudged between my
legs, I whispered, “Slow down. Kiss me first.”
    I
ran my hands over his long back and shut my eyes while he kissed me excitedly.
I sought a connection with my hands and my tongue, but my head began to spin. I
opened my eyes, but the room was spinning too. He pecked me on the lips before
pulling away.
    I
blinked up, focusing on the ceiling. What
have I done? Something is lost, I’ve
driven a wedge between us –
does he feel it too? He was back suddenly, his hands sliding down and
spreading me open. “Wait,” I groaned as dread and tequila flooded me. He started
to push into me. “Wait, just – just slow down! Jesus.”
    He jerked back and hovered over me. “What?” he
asked, bewildered.
    “You’re . . . moving too fast, can’t you feel
that I’m not ready?”
    “All right,” he said sitting back on his calves.
“What do you want me to do? You don’t like foreplay.”
    I heaved a sigh. I had told him that once,
because it was usually a tedious race to see if I could finish when I knew I
wouldn’t. After all these years with Bill, I’d gradually given up the chase for
my orgasm.
    “Never mind,” I said, getting up and righting my
underwear.
    “Seriously? What do you want?”
    “I want you to know what I want.” My stomach
knotted, and I swallowed.
    “I thought I did.”
    “I’m sorry, I’m drunk.” I backed away and
stumbled over my dress. “It’s my thing, it’s not you. I’m really sorry.”
    “Babe, the sex . . . I know it’s been a while .
. . but you don’t mean that, do you?”
    I closed my eyes and