Colm & the Ghost's Revenge Read Online Free PDF Page A

was responsible for coordination seemed to have been wired wrong. When the instructor had told them to move left, he’d found himself going right. He punched when he should have kicked and kicked when he should have punched. It was like swimming against a roaring tide.
    His third and final lesson had been the straw that broke the camel’s back. The instructor, a man with enormous biceps, a deep voice and worryingly hairy ears that captured your gaze like a hypnotist’s pocket watch, liked to roar his commands in Japanese. This was a little odd as he wasn’t from Japan; he was a Navan man through and through. He’d even played corner back for the Meath minors. But if he wanted to speak Japanese then no one was going to tell him he shouldn’t. Would you argue with a man who could put you in hospital before you could say the words ‘fractured coccyx’?
    I didn’t think so.
    The thing was, Colm wasn’t great with languages so when the instructor had shouted ‘Bow’ in his Navan-Japanese accent, he’d mistaken it for ‘Kick’. He’d attempted an ungainly roundhouse just at the moment Seamus Barry had begun to lean forward and unfortunately for Colm, and poor Seamus, he’d caught him right on the bridge of the nose. There was a tremendous crack followed by a brief moment of silence. Two seconds later, Seamus was slumped on the sparring mat with blood and tears pouring down his face. It was agreed by the instructor, Colm’s parents, Seamus’s folks and a couple of people who had no business interfering, that it might be best for everyone concerned if Colm tried a different sport.
    â€˜Hey, Killer. Neil. Is that kid just standing there thinkin’?’ Buzzer asked, puzzled by the blank look on Colm’s face and the lengthy passage of time that had elapsed since he’d issued his threat.
    â€˜Looks like it,’ Killer agreed.
    â€˜He’s disrespectin’ ya, Buzzer,’ Neil said, egging him on. Neil loved nothing more than watching someone being beaten up.
    Buzzer sighed. This day was proving to be very unusual. Was it too much to ask for things to go smoothly? All he’d wanted to do was find a wimpy little guy, beat him up, then go for a bag of chips. And what happens instead? He gets insulted, has to chase the kid all over town, and then the kid blanks him. Why is life never easy, he wondered. Well, it was time for the messing to stop.
    Killer and Neil exchanged glances. Now Buzzer was at this thinking thing. Was it contagious?
    â€˜Hey Balloon Butt, are ya going to spend all bleedin’ day standin’ around thinking with a stupid look on yer face or are ya going to fight like a man?’ Buzzer asked, snapping out of his reverie.
    â€˜Two things,’ Colm began. ‘One, I’m a couple of weeks away from my thirteenth birthday, so technically I’m not a man.’ Nope, still not a good line. ‘And number two …’
    â€˜Huh, huh. He said number two,’ Killer chuckled.
    And that’s when Colm attacked. He launched himself at them, fists out front, face set to DESTROY. Unfortunately, his ability to fly through the air didn’t quite match his ambition. In less than a tenth of a second it was clear his unexpected move was doomed to failure. He landed at Buzzer’s feet a full metre short of his target, cracking his chin on the cobblestones. He looked up, his face a picture of despair.
    Buzzer peered down. It seemed like he was going to say something, but was holding back for some reason. His lip began to wobble. He sniggered. Then he started laughing. Long and loud. Killer and Neil joined in, because that’s the kind of lackeys they were.
    â€˜Aw, man,’ Buzzer spluttered, wiping away the tears. ‘That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. The way … you thought you could … pat’etic.’ He mimicked Colm diving through the air. ‘It’s a