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that he knew that I liked guys.
    As a teenager I fell madly for an ‘older’ man of 27, a traveling German who let me hang out with him for a weekend. He was my first love, or so I’d imagined, though there was nothing physical between us except an honest embrace when we parted. Dishonest, but sexy embraces didn’t start until a few years later at college. Fast-forward three decades and I wouldn’t be able to guess how many men I’ve been in and out with since bachelor number one. Though an old hand at the game of seduction, I felt like I was driving without a steering wheel now. With Shahid I didn’t know what to do.
    I sank back into the sofa with him. The moon and stars shot streaks of light across the water. Few pictures were sexier than this. I closed my eyes and drifted. I saw Shahid place his left hand on my right knee, over which I placed my right hand. Our hands clasped instinctively. I saw myself rest my chin on his shoulder, breathe deep, and lightly brush my mustache across his cheek. I saw him turn slowly until his parted lips met mine. The tips of our tongues met. There we stayed, in the slightest of slow-motion movements, measurable in millimeters. I brought my left hand up to his shirt buttons, undid them, slid my hand in, and reached for the luxuriant black chest hair. I brought my lips to his neck, which he extended as I kissed and nibbled, collar to ear. He let out a resonant sigh that seemed to come from both of us.
    I saw myself letting my hand fall into his lap. He was hard. I saw Shahid rise, grab my hand and lead me to my room. I don’t know how the clothes came off. The video running in my mind skipped that scene. We were naked and he was on top of me. He put his tongue into my gaping mouth, grabbed a nipple with a fist, and slid his cock between my thighs and under my balls. I licked his neck with a wet tongue, pulled at his chest hair with my lips, and buried my face in the pit of his arm. I inhaled his sweaty musk. He pressed me into the bed, straddled me, placed his dick to my lips, pushed down to the balls, and face fucked me. I licked and sucked as if I were tasting cock for the last time. He sat on my face and I lapped the hairy crack of his butt like a dog in heat. He rocked back and forth and his dick slapped against my face. His sweat and my saliva ran down my cheek. I was slobbering like a madman. He repositioned himself, lifted my legs, licked his middle finger and put the tip in my ass. I was bucking like a horse. He held me down, and joined his tongue to his finger. I caught my breath and told him to wait. On went the rubber and lube.
    I saw Shahid mount me and dive in. I turned my head to one side and groaned. Unlike the wild stabbing of many novices, his pace was slow and steady. Twenty years old and he was a pro. Within half an hour of his rhythmic fucking I was exhausted. I grabbed his hips and pulled him into me. He picked up the pace and I licked my hand to whack my dick, which he never touched. I like mutuality, but that didn’t matter tonight. Shahid was a volcano. I serviced him with joy.

    I slowly opened my eyes as if emerging from hypnosis.
    ‘Everything ok with Mahmood?’ Shahid asked, awakening me from my trance.
    I took a breath and leapt, not knowing where I’d land.
    ‘Mahmood’s jealous.’
    ‘Of what?’
    ‘Of you. He thinks I want to sleep with you?’
    ‘Do you?’
    I felt a rush of adrenaline and my heart skipped a beat. I stammered. And then I remembered who I was. ‘No. I don’t. You’re a great-looking guy, smart and sexy too, but you’re my friend and I guess you’re not gay, and even if you were, you’re young enough to be my son. It would never work.’
    He laughed. ‘Thanks for saying those good things about me. I’m not gay, but we can still be friends, right? And I can say that you look nice too, right? You know, for your age. The guys must love you in Delhi.’
    I smiled. ‘Some do, maybe. I’m not sure.’
    ‘Well I always liked