Christmas Daisy Read Online Free PDF Page B

Daisy, who still hadn’t uttered a word. 
    “Daisy, you haven’t said what you think about this project. Are you in? Ready for some Christmas cheer? We sure need you r creative help.”  Ben asked in an even voice, though he knew his heart was racing in his chest.  Something was wrong.  Daisy’s stillness was just not  right.
    There was a long moment of silence.  The Daisy stood up, slowly putting on the lid to her thermos , not meeting Ben’s eyes. Or anyone else’s, for that matter.
    “I’m sorry,” she finally said, her voice coming out only a little more than a whisper.  “I think I need to skip this one.  Count me in for anything else.  But not Christmas.  I just don’t do Christmas.”
    And without another word, she slipped out the door, the only sound the soft padding of her footsteps as she ran up the steps toward her empty classroom.

 
     
     
    Chapter Five
     
    A Christmas Pageant. Tears swirled in Daisy’s eyes, threatening to fall.  Her breathing was shallow and felt almost painful, as if her lungs were pressing against her ribs.  She could feel her pulse throbbing, feel the blood racing through her veins.  “Don’t pass out. Don’t pass out,” she chanted to herself.  “This will pass. Just breathe. Just breathe.”
    She almost fell into her classroom, grateful for the emptiness of the room, the cherished minutes she had before her students came back upstairs from their lunch break.  She needed to calm down.  Her ability to breathe would come back. And hopefully, the flashes of memory would go away.
    It had been over five years, and still, the moments like this would come.  Grief was a tricky thing.  Would it ever pass? Would Christmas ever mean what it had before? Or would she ever be able to bear the thought of it?  Christmas carols..  She glanced across the room at her guitar standing in its corner, as if calling her.  She knew them all.  She had loved them all.  But now? She hadn’t sung a single one since that fateful day.
    She and her parents had been heading to church, Christmas eve, and filled with the usual excitement of being part of the Christmas Choir.  They had been singing together in the car as they drove along.  Did the singing detract from her father’s concentration?  If they had not been preoccupied with their songs and laughter, would he have seen the truck that bore down on them?  Would either she or her mother have called out a warning?
    Her teeth were chattering now, and she felt cold and clammy.  The memories flooded over her.  The bright lights, the horrible crash, the car flipping over, the screams.  And then the blackness.
    She had lost the things that had mattered the most in the world to her on that night.When she awoke in the hospital the next day, she learned she was lucky to be alive. But she had lost both her mother and her father. And with that loss, she had lost the ability to even tolerate the idea of Christmas, let alone celebrate it.
    She wrapped her arms around herself, forcing herself to breath e evenly, counting to distract herself, to still the shivering.  Daisy had trained herself to do it.  And it passed, feelings and memories, as they usually did, in a few minutes, tucked back away in her mind. The students would be arriving in a minute, and they would find her calm, happy, and ready for a good afternoon.
      Like usual, her students, and her mission to teach would restore her equilibrium.  Daisy was full of resolve.  She’d have to make Ben understand, no matter how disappointed he was in her.  She didn’t want to dull the wonderful sparkle in his eyes as he spoke of his project.  She wanted to make him smile.  But she didn’t have a choice.  Daisy would do just about anything, within reason, for this new school and the students she had already come to love.  But not Christmas.  She wouldn’t do Christmas.
     
    ****
    Ben followed Daisy up the steps, the meeting coming to an abrupt ending with her