Choking Game Read Online Free PDF

the calling of reason. A sweet breeze blows from her empty lips, poisoning the air I’m trying to breathe. I’m blinded by darkness, veiled in a curtain of thoughtlessness, covered by a blanket of pain, buried alive in a tomb of emptiness.
    She’s whispering in my ear, 'Death is not final. I am the beginning of life. Life thereafter.'
    She raises her arms, embracing me gently. I close my eyes to look inside. All I see is darkness; my soul is so wicked, it laughs mockingly in the face of my date. A date with Death that may last forever. My unconscious mind allows my date to embrace me, to take me away from my being.
    'It’s easier to believe death is not final. Death is beginning of life thereafter,' she whispers.
    My Death is gentle and soothing. It’s only the moment it comes that’s raw. Only a moment, but it seems to last forever when the pain runs through my veins and burns like liquid steel. It’s like drowning in a shallow water, senseless. I'm unable to escape. It’s like flying and falling at the same time; like inhaling fire and exhaling ice.
    The moment I surrender to Death is lonely. It burns itself into my core like an imprint marking the end, like a seal of fate.
    She's whispering to me again, 'It’s comforting to think death is not final. Death is beginning of life thereafter. Life postponed, until next time.'
    ~It's as poetic as it is creepy. I love it and hate it at the same time. I must say, MJ, you got some pretty strange ideas of what Death is like.~
    "I don't write music and lyrics anymore, but I still like to write stuff like this in my journal sometimes. I really didn't give it that much thought. I began writing, and the words just came to me. Now that I read it again, it does sound a little creepy."
    ~You wrote this the day you learned about Stanley's death? How come I don't remember you doing that?~
    "I think we disconnected. Like I said, my world crumbled, and everything in it was a blur. You were a blur."
    ~I was scared. I worried about you. I watched how much pain you were in. I guess I didn't see anything else.~
    "See? You were scared. It blinded you, too. I was right. Scary is bright yellow. It blinds us all."
    ~Was the day of Stanley's death the first time you started to think about suicide?~
    "I guess it was. Yeah, definitely."
    ~That's what I thought. What you wrote wasn't about Stanley. It was about you. Do you understand now what I meant by you not burying your best friend? Even when he died, all you could write about was your own death. How could you be so self-centered?~
    "Self-centered? What did you expect me to write about? How he died? I had no clue how he died! No one told us! We had to piece it together with bits and pieces of information. I was going insane! I could not even picture my one and only friend in the last minutes of his life! For days I could not even find out how and where he died! No one would tell us! It was horrible! It was like he still lingered around because none of us knew what really happened!"
    ~Hush, baby. Your heart is beating too fast again. You must still be very angry.~
    "Angry? How about mad as hell!? How would you like to think about your best friend not knowing if he was okay somewhere in the terrible, lonely darkness?"
    ~I'm so sorry. I was with you the whole time back then, but I had no idea how you felt. We must have really disconnected. I'm really sorry.~
    "You know nothing about me, but you're too damn busy criticizing me, like everyone else."
    ~You're not helping. Getting to know you is like pulling teeth. I already said that. We're supposed to be one—you with your egotistical mind and me, your often neglected soul. But you're making it awfully difficult for me to want to stay with you. I'm all about space and expansion. When you die, I'll become a part of something much bigger. Eternal. To tell you the truth, I often feel the same way you do because a soul is miserable when it is restricted by rules and obligations. But for now, we have