Childless: A Novel Read Online Free PDF Page A

screen and the reminder of the university’s student loan policy. It would carry an outstanding balance within a single academic year, but not into the next. He hadn’t given the matter much thought back when he requested a loan, because he assumed the transition money would be freed up within a few short months. He’d fully intended to pay off the loan by winter break, then by the end of the spring semester, then by midsummer. With less than two weeks until fall classes began, however, he still hadn’t received a dime.
    Matthew quickly phoned the number on the screen.
    “You have reached the Office of Student Financial Services at the University of Colorado.” The recorded voice went on to offer Matthew more options than he could follow, none of which seemed promising. “If you wish to wait for the next available student assistance representative, please remain on the line. The current estimated wait is approximately ten minutes.”
    He swore again, then considered his options. Perhaps he should call back in the morning. No. Some senior might have snagged his slot in Dr. Vincent’s class by then. He decided to wait, enduring the musical selection that sounded like a cross between a traditional Celtic folk song and a sleazy lounge-lizard ballad. Some music major must have landed a big break by convincing the university to use his laptop-produced album for hold music. Not a bad angle. What better way to reach a large captive audience?
    Midway through the third near-identical song Matthew reached for something to occupy his numbing mind. He landed on a recollection that made his stomach tense. With all the excitement over planning his fall schedule, learning he had passed probation, and contacting Maria Davidson, he hadn’t even considered the possibility he might not return to school. He had convinced himself that all would be well. But what if it wasn’t? Would he be stuck in a pointless job for another year, waiting for his money to clear? What if it never cleared? How would he endure the embarrassment? How could he continue to justify his mom’s transition?
    “Transitions are nothing more than suicide by a different name,” Father Richard had said. He called it a mortal sin, Satan’s attack on the very image of God. But Matthew refused to believe it. Matthew preferred the enlightened spirituality of Manichean philosophers to dogma he, like Dr. Vincent, had rejected. He reminded himself, yet again, that death brought freedom from the prison of the body. Spirit was pure and good. The body was bad. It decayed. So even if his mother’s money remained beyond reach it would take nothing from the majesty of her choice.
    As much as Matthew hated to think her heroic sacrifice might have been in vain, he refused to accept the possibility that it had been a sin.
    “Thank you for holding, Mr. Adams. My name is Juanita. How may I help you?”
    The interruption rescued Matthew from his quandary.
    “Hi, Juanita,” he began. “I just tried to sign in to confirm my fall schedule and got a notice that says—”
    “I see that your account is past due,” she interrupted. “Do you want to settle the balance today?”
    “Actually, I was hoping to get a short extension.”
    “I’m afraid I’m not authorized to grant extensions into the new school year.”
    As he’d expected.
    “I understand. I’m sure I’ll have the money in hand shortly. But I’m concerned about losing my scheduled spots in several key classes. Is there any way to—”
    “We don’t reopen scheduled slots until ten days before the start of the semester.”
    Matthew felt a brief flood of relief followed by a rising panic. Classes were scheduled to begin on August twenty-seventh.
    “So I only have a day?”
    “Two days, actually,” she offered generously.
    “Two days, then. Will my schedule be locked until, let me see…August seventeenth?”
    “That’s correct.”
    “Thanks.” He ended the call before she could recite her closing script