Chanelle Hayes - Baring My Heart Read Online Free PDF Page A

even coloured my hair red with one of those wash-in, wash-out dyes – which looked disgusting! Then I began wearing a bra and stuffing socks in it because Geri had big boobs and I had absolutely nothing up top at that age. I liked the fact that Geri was so gobby too. You got the impression she wouldn’t stand for any nonsense.
    Still, in the fickle way that you do as a kid, I soon grew a bit bored of Geri in all her flamboyant Union Jack gear and, as quickly as I had latched on to her, dropped her for Posh Spice. She had recently started dating David Beckham and, like the whole nation, I was intrigued by this glamorous popstar/footballer combo. Their romance seemed like such a fairy tale and I devoured all the glossy-magazine shoots and interviews they did around the time Brand Beckham took off. It seems naff now but all the matching clothes, David in a sarong and the ‘his ’n’ hers’ thrones at ‘Beckingham Palace’ were so fun – even if they wouldn’t be seen dead doing that kind of thing today.
    As you’ll discover throughout this book, Posh has maintained a very steady presence in my life since then – even if she might not realise it! I’ve always loved watching her style evolve and the fact that all of her looks tell a different story. When the Spice Girls first strutted onto the scene, she would typically wear leopard-print fur coats, teeny leather bras and mini-skirts but that changed drastically as her fame began to soar. I used to pore over pictures of her ever-changing hairstyles and increasingly expensive outfits and shoes, and craved the lifestyle that she and David had.
    Then, when the golden couple had their first son, Brooklyn, in 1999 and got married that same year, my adulation took on a whole new dimension. I loved the fact that, while they both worked hard and looked so good, they were totally family orientated – something I admired even when I was young. Apart from for a couple of years in my life when I hit the party scene, I’ve always been a stay-at-home girl at heart. I think, because of being adopted myself, the idea of the family unit has always been crucially important to me. I looked up to Victoria for not only being stylish and gorgeous but also having such strong maternal instincts. She and David were the perfect role models in my eyes.
    All in all, my childhood was very happy and I was lucky to be surrounded by a close-knit family. I was especially fond of my Aunty Jean – who was married to Dad’s brother Basil. One vivid memory I have of her is that she was the first person to ever get me drunk! It happened at some kind of family party when I was about 13 and she kept passing me Bacardi Breezers under the table. By the end of the evening, I was pretty tipsy and hiding the fact I couldn’t quite walk straight from Mum and Dad was a real challenge! Aunty Jean only died recently, which was so sad, but I’ll always have fond memories of our naughty collaboration that evening.
    As well as Aunty Jean, I adored Joan and Reg and the only real sadness I knew in those days was when they both died during my early teens. He passed away first and then she followed not too long after. It was almost like she couldn’t bear to go on without him. They were very much that kind of couple and I still think of them often.

CHAPTER FOUR

A Need for Answers
    A lthough I never thought much about my real mum and what happened to her when I was a little girl, something suddenly changed in me by the time I reached 14. I had this nagging feeling that there was a lot of important stuff I should know about – a sixth sense maybe.
    I remember speaking to our old social worker Christine about it. We’d always stayed in touch over the years and I said to her, ‘How did my real mum die? Do you know?’
    She hesitated but said gently, ‘Look, I can’t tell you that. It’s not up to me to make that decision. That’s up to your mum and dad, so you’ll have to ask them.’
    Naturally, that only