Celebrity Shopper Read Online Free PDF Page A

that the twins were a little older and the fog of looking after tiny, unpredictable babies was finally clearing, Ed was truly enjoying his new children, the schedule and the many extras: the story reading, flashcards, baby yoga, baby Mozart … Ed was determined to be the perfect parent. These children were going to be the brightest, most creative and most talented children ever.
    Breakfast was at 6.30 a.m. (unfortunately). Even after months and months of this, it still felt criminally early every single morning. Snack was 9.15 a.m. Nap the first ran from 9.30 to 11 a.m. Lunch was at 12 noon. There was another snack before Nap the second from 2 to 4 p.m. Now, at 5 p.m., Ed was planning to cook supper for the babies, which they would eat before going for a bath and then bed at 7 p.m. He would also get supper for the rest of the family started. They would eat later, at about 7.30 p.m.
    That was the schedule.
    Unfortunately feeding, bathing and putting babies to bed while trying to get another meal on the go was always the point in the evening when Ed could no longer manage by himself.
    The good news was that upstairs, lurking in their bedrooms, were Annie’s two older children, Lana and Owen, who were perfectly capable of feeding or dressing babies, stirring pots, adding ingredients and all number of other helpful things. The bad news was that they were often sulky and unwilling. They made excuses like: they had homework or music practice or friends coming round, or they were just ‘too busy’ with ‘school stuff’. They whinged. They asked for treats or bribes and, quite honestly, Ed sometimes felt he’d be better off getting on with things on his own than involving the two of them.
    Owen wasn’t quite as bad as Lana. Sometimes, when Ed had a moment to himself, he worried that Lana hadn’tbonded properly with her new siblings. But mainly Ed was far, far too busy to worry about anything other than what he should be doing next and what did the babies want now.
    ‘OWEN!’ he shouted up the stairs. ‘Have you got a nanosecond? Just a very quick job.’
    There was silence. Then Ed heard a door opening two flights up on the attic floor.
    ‘Awwww …’ came the moan. ‘Milo’s coming round any minute.’
    ‘That’s fine,’ Ed said, trying to sound as patient as he could, ‘I just need you for a few minutes.’
    There was a pause while Owen weighed up the pros and cons of having an argument and decided that it probably wasn’t worth it, so he began to bound down the steps two at a time until he was down at the bottom of the stairs.
    ‘You rang,’ he said jokily to Ed.
    Ed smiled back. He had a twin on each arm. This was a pose Owen was now very familiar with: Ed usually had at least one twin on one arm at all times.
    Owen was looking too terrifyingly teenage, Ed noticed with a lurch. He was tall for his age and his shoulders had broadened out almost overnight, so he no longer looked so gangly and skinny. His thick, sandy brown hair flopped about all over the place, but he laughed in the face of regular trips to the barber’s. Instead, he preferred to just keep on trying (and failing) to push the overgrown mop out of his way.
    ‘I need ten whole minutes of baby-free time,’ Ed informed Owen, ‘while I put the chicken casserole together, then I am happy to take them back and put them in their bath … while you and Lana peel some potatoes?’ he suggested optimistically.
    ‘Lana?’ Owen raised his eyebrows. ‘Good luck with that.C’mon, hand ’em over.’ He opened his arms to his baby brother and sister.
    ‘Have you got them?’ Ed worried. ‘Are you taking them upstairs?’ he worried further. ‘Are you sure? Be careful on the stairs, won’t you? You have got them properly, haven’t you? You won’t take them somewhere where they can eat Lego off the floor?’
    ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah … and no,’ was Owen’s nonchalant reply to these questions.
    Micky and Minnie were safe with him. He rounded the