Casper Candlewacks in the Time Travelling Toaster Read Online Free PDF

Who else but Blights would be so reckless with their belongings, so threatening with so little provocation?
    Lamp shuffled up behind Casper and cleared his throat. “Casper,” he whispered, “I’ve been doing some counting and I think we’ve got them outnumbered. I’ll take the boy, you take Anemonie, I’ll take the girl and you take the boy and the girl. Then I’ll hold the rear and you watch for pigeons while I take Anemonie.” Lamp grinned with pride at his tactics.
    “Let’s hold back on a battle for now, Lamp.” He smiled at the three Blights, knowing full well they’d heard every word of Lamp’s plan. “We’re all friends here, eh? Any bad blood between the Blight family and us is just water under the bridge. Ain’t that right, Anemonie?”
    “Whatever, Candlewacks.” She snatched a look to see if her new cousins approved of her put- down.
    Anemonie and the Blight visitors had already started up the road towards the park and Casper didn’t want to get left behind – not this morning, anyway. There was no question about it – the village felt distinctly odd.
    “Hey! Where are we going?” shouted Casper, scuttling to catch up.
    “ We’re going to my house to laugh about the lower classes,” sneered Anemonie. “You can waddle off home for all I care.”
    “No, no, cousin, what sort of courtesy is that?” Briar fixed a firm gaze on Anemonie and, for the first time in her life, she submitted. “We could at least offer them tea. They won’t have had the pleasure of real scones before.” He made scones rhyme with bones .
    Lamp’s face crumpled in confusion. “What’s scoenes , then?” he said.
    “It’s what the well-bred eat in place of your, huh, scons. ” If Briar had said the word any more hatefully, scones everywhere would have risen up and revolted.
    Lamp, however, didn’t get the tone of voice and took it as a valid answer. “Oh,” he said, nodding. “They sound rich.”
    “Shouldn’t we take your car?” asked Casper, looking back at the smoking wreck outside Lamp’s garage.
    “Phh,” spat Briar. “I’ve got loads more at home. Have it, if you like. Sell it. Looks like you could do with some new clothes.”
    Anemonie guffawed as if Briar had just told the funniest joke since a chicken crossed a road, but Casper hadn’t noticed one at all. Chrys chuckled along too.
    “I’ll have it,” chirped Lamp. “I can use the windscreen wipers for my hamster submarine.”
    In the park, the slide and swings had disappeared, and Sandy Landscape’s flowerbeds had been replaced by sludgy heaps of mud.
    I don’t understand , thought Casper. We were only here this morning. What’s happened?
    The feral pigeons had flocked after the group, perching on nearby trees and keeping their distance, but Casper could feel their beady eyes hungrily watching his progress.
    Anemonie strode ahead purposefully. “I’ll show you the family portraits and the torture chamber and the trophy cabinet. I’m the five-times Kobb Heavyweight Champion, featherweight class, and I’m Miss Corne-on-the-Kobb twenty-twelve.” She simpered at Briar. “See? Strong and pretty.”
    Casper remembered the Corne-on-the-Kobb beauty pageant like a bad, bruised dream. “Didn’t you win that one by fighting too?” Anemonie had given all the other contestants black eyes, or worse, and won by default. Teresa Louncher was still growing back an ear.
    “Shut up, Candlewacks. I won that pageant fair and square. Not my fault if the other girls bruise easily. Should’a worn more make-up. Face it, you’re never gonna win any beauty pageants and you’re just jealous. I’m pretty and you’re ugly. I’m rich and you’re poor. I’m everything and you’re… uhh?”
    She’d turned the corner to approach the grounds of Blight Manor, took one look at her house and stopped, dumbstruck, scratching her pointy nose in confusion.
    “Ah,” said Briar, patting his distant cousin on her bony back. “Yes, sorry, old girl.