Captured Lies Read Online Free PDF

conversation with
her mom the week before. It had been awkward and stilted and about the weather
and politics rather than their fight several days before. Her mom never said a
word about being unwell.
    But she’d known.
    Bailey clenched her hands. She
was tempted to look at her watch but she could hear her mom telling her it
would be just plain rude. ‘It’s over when it’s over.’ She didn’t want to do
anything that would upset her mom on this day. Maybe she could do something
just once that would make her mom proud.
    The pressure sitting on her chest
felt like a hundred pound anvil, teetering, ready to crash. Anger, frustration,
anguish, fear, sadness, rolled, twisted and churned in Bailey’s stomach, as all
the times she and her mom used to fight, ran through her mind. They came fast
and furious, spinning like a top, zipping from one to another and back again.
Startled by the speed with which it hit, she looked around feeling exposed,
like everyone knew what she was thinking. And thinking she deserved it.
    She forced her thoughts to other
things. Had she called Tina before she left? She hoped that her friend hadn’t
driven across the city to find out she wasn’t at her office. A niggling memory
of planning something with Tina and Deb this weekend popped into her mind but
she couldn’t remember what exactly. She’d have to call them.
    They’d be mad. It wasn’t the
first time. The other times had involved her mom too. Not that her friends knew
that. She’d never discussed her family or lack of it. This was another rule
she’d had to live by.
    It’s all fixable.
    Looking up, her gaze was caught
by the sight of the casket. The finality of what it meant slammed into her.
    This… this isn’t fixable.
    She buried her face in her hands
and pushed hard. Not here. Not now. She wanted privacy when she let loose. Up
until now she’d been too numb to really take it in. But this…this was final.
There was no going back. No, ‘I’m sorry Mom. We disagree but that’s okay I
still love you.’
    Why didn’t you tell me you
were sick Mom? Or did you?
    The time, a few months before,
when she’d left her friends high and dry, to zip home because of her mom’s urgent
and very bizarre phone call, wouldn’t be pushed away. Her mom had phoned and
demanded that Bailey come home immediately.
    She’d panicked and taken the next
flight. It had been a really bizarre week. Her mom had insisted she just needed
to see her daughter, they didn’t spend enough time together but she wouldn’t
share more than that. She had sworn she was just lonely, feeling bad about the
relationship they had. Everything had felt off. Bailey had felt queasy, the
same feeling she’d had growing up, every time they’d fled from their latest
location. At her mom’s insistence, she’d finally put her mom’s bizarre behavior
down to stress, being overworked, worrying too much about the store, about
Bailey being in the news.
    But maybe it had been something
else.
    Was it part of your illness,
Mom?
    Bailey sighed. Exhaustion rolled
over her like a Mac truck. Her hands fell to her sides, her shoulders sagged,
her chin fell to her chest and her mind went blank.
    “She was taken from us…”
    Bailey shook her head, trying to
deny what was happening. Stretching her eyes open wide, she blinked several
times. Restlessly she shuffled her feet. The scent of lilac drifted up to her.
The funeral home had taken care of every detail. The gravesite was littered
with a carpet of lilacs. Her mother’s favorite flower and smell from her
childhood. One of the few memories she had shared with Bailey. That and that
there were no living relatives. And the rest of her childhood was too painful
to share – especially as to why there was no other family.
    “Let’s bow our head in prayer. Oh
Heavenly Father…”
    Bailey closed her eyes while the
reverend recited the words. Not because she was following the ritual of prayer
but because she didn’t have the energy