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roll.”

    It’s warm out, so there’s no point bothering to get changed. Dressed in my pyjama shorts, and baby pink tank I climb out through the window and hoof it down the trellis. I take care to make sure my feet are firmly planted in the well-worn footholds I’ve made over the last month. The last thing I need is to fall, and my parents find out I’ve been using my window as an escape hatch. Hitting the ground with a soft thud, I walk over and plop down on the grass under the tree Dec is leaned up against. His head is reclined against the trunk and his eyes closed. I know he’s not asleep, but to anyone else he would appear out like a light.

    In the moonlight I can only see the beautiful boy who was my best friend. He hasn’t shaved for a couple of days if the light scruff on his face is anything to go by. His piercing grey eyes are shuttered by his eyelids, and barricaded by the thick black lashes that fan his cheeks. Dec’s already tall standing six foot two at least with probably another inch or two to go until he’s at his full height. He carries 200 pounds of pure muscle around on his frame that’s honed by years of baseball, football, and carrying kegs for the MC’s bar Rough Shod on weekends. He has twin dimples in his cheeks that I’ve always loved, and his smile. His smile makes my heart warm. No one can resist returning one of his smiles. They are infectious. What makes me love Dec the most is his heart. He has the biggest heart of anyone I know. Every time I need someone to turn to. A shoulder to cry on. Someone to listen to me Dec was there. He gives the best advice, and has always been my rock. Until recently that is. Recently when he has been almost non-existent.

    Tonight though. Tonight he looks almost pained. His jaw is tight that usually only happens when he’s angry, or hurt. His eyes are scrunched closed causing tiny lines to fan out from them. His hands are in fists making his knuckles white. Dec is the picture of pain at the moment. Placing my tiny hand over his huge one I turn so that I’m sitting Indian style facing him.
    “What’s wrong Dec? Are you hurt?” I’m scared. I can admit it. I’m scared for my friend. The possibility he’s in pain. If he’s hurting, you can be assured that will hurt me even more.

    He takes his hand from underneath mine, and places in on his lap. That’s a first. We may not be a couple, but Dec is usually very demonstrative with his affection toward me. Whether it be hugs, holding my hand, kissing the top of my head, he is sure to make physical contact with me a lot of the time. His long denim clad legs are stretched in front of him crossed at the ankles, but he doesn’t look any more relaxed now that I’m here.

    Finally he opens his eyes and turns his head. Oh God! What’s wrong? My head screams at me that something about this isn’t right. My heart clenches in my chest painfully beating out a rapid rhythm. I’m sure it will run away if it wasn’t encased firmly behind walls of muscle and bone.
    “Kendall.” One word. One word breathed out with such sadness and sorrow it is more of a feeling than speech. “Kenny we have talk.” There’s nothing to say, so I just nod my head. I can tell whatever he has to say is hurting him somehow. I just want him to spit it out. “Jesus Kenny. I don’t know how to say this.”

    Shaking my head, and looking at him seriously I tell him,
    “You can tell me anything Dec. You know that.”

    He looks at me and captures my eyes with his.
    “Shit Kenny. I never thought I’d have to do this. You have to listen to me though. You have to listen, and promise that when I’m done you’ll let me get up and walk away. You have to promise or I can’t tell you.”

    Breathing deeply trying to calm myself I promise him. What else can I do?
    “I promise I’ll listen Dec. I promise.”

    “And walk away Kenny. You have to promise that too.” What can I say? He’s not going to give in until I relent.

    “I