forget, when most of what’s happening doesn’t make any sense. I could say fuck it, but I really don’t want to get kicked out again because, shit, I can really use the money. But I’m on my second strike, and don’t imagine I’m supposed to get more than one.
She fixes me with those azure eyes. They tick sideways, and after a minute she gets up and crosses the room. She stops in plain sight, right in the middle of a giant dot in the carpet’s pattern, then waits for me to follow. Finally, with nothing better to do, I go.
“Get closer to me,” she says, beckoning me into her chest — where, I’m a bit embarrassed to see, her nipples are sticking up.
“I’m very flattered,” I tell her. “But I’m just not into … ”
She cuts off my hetero-declaration, grabs me by the waist, and pulls me forward. At first, I think this is another advance, but my skirt stays. Erin lets me go, nods, and says, “Okay.”
I look down, and then I remember. This is one of the blind spots they told us about last night. On reality TV, the blind spots are in logical places, like bathrooms and bedrooms, where people use facilities and change. But because this place is a giant mindfuck, the safe areas here are places like this: on the big dot in the second-floor gathering hall.
“Look,” she says. “I was just with Daniel … ”
“With Daniel?”
And her nipples are hard.
And, I’m now realizing, she seemed a bit out of breath when she returned from wherever she was — which, it would now seem, was with the man who’s supposed to be off limits for all of us.
“Yes. And — ”
“I thought Daniel was with the other group?”
“He wanted to see me in private.”
My jaw slides side to side. I look Erin over with new eyes. She’s wearing a little pink dress, but the bottom is wrinkled. Her hair is mussed and face flushed. I’ll bet she’s flushed all over, blood running to various body parts hither and yon.
“What for?”
“I’m not supposed to tell you. He said not to.”
“Me specifically, or anyone?”
“What does it matter?”
She seems to be rushing me through this. I push away my annoyance. Maybe she’s trying for the same advantage everyone thinks I have, and if she is, I can hardly blame her. Her lipstick is smudged just a little, so maybe she was in a hurry when she put it on. Or maybe she just got done using her mouth for something unauthorized.
Either way, I guess it’s none of my business. I don’t know why Daniel got me into this, but he’s basically admitted to doing so as a grudge. I was vulnerable last night, and during his afternoon of icy stares I’ve decided that vulnerability caused me to misinterpret his sending money as a kindness, when, in fact, it was a way to prolong my humiliation. I mean, shit, I haven’t even been paid. Maybe he’s tricking me into all of the downside with none of the upside.
If Erin is breaking the rules, so be it. I’m only in this for the money.
“Look, I was with him, in this dark room with a bunch of screens.” She glances around as if by searching for cameras, she might see Daniel looking back at us. “We were … talking. And — ”
“Talking?”
“And I saw that on one of the screens, he’s got an email account up. It’s yours, Bridget.”
Okay, I didn’t see that coming.
“MINE?”
“He said to send you in. You’re next.”
“Next for what?”
“Just go, Bridget.” She points. “There’s a door to the right of the bathroom in the hall there. That’s where he is. He said to send you in.”
“As part of the contest? Or, like … off the grid? Because you seem so … secretive.”
Erin nods. “He said I had to keep it quiet. That you’re supposed to keep it quiet, too. He told me not to say I was in with him, just that he wants to see you. But I had to tell you about the email, Bridget. He summoned me in, but I think the door was supposed