Bright Young Things Read Online Free PDF Page A

things are neither happy nor sad, they just are. She assesses the material in this room. Over in the corner is an old lady, senile, with only one breast. These facts should be introduced by a voiceover, Thea decides, mentally storyboarding the scene for her imaginary documentary:
Almost Dead
.
    The woman is supposed to be doing a jigsaw, but she’s trying to eat one of the pieces. The jigsaw was her daughter’s idea. She visited earlier, but has gone now. Thea’s camera zooms in on the chunky wooden piece as the woman forces it into her mouth. It’s too big for a child to swallow, but the woman has a greater chance of managing it. Her false teeth are on the table next to her, and Thea mentally edits in a shot of them before cutting back to the woman as she begins to chew, her mouth full of gums and wood.
    ‘What the hell is she doing?’ demands Matron, sweeping into the room.
    ‘Sorry?’ says Thea, pausing her imaginary camera.
    Matron is a devout Christian, and Rule 5 is that no one must blaspheme in the residential home at any time. So far today she has said ‘God’ twice, and ‘hell’ three times. Now she briskly walks over to the woman with the jigsaw and rips the wooden piece out of her mouth. The woman starts to moo like a cow. Camera back on, Thea pans from the mooing woman to Matron, who’s walking back towards her, waving the square of wet jigsaw.
    ‘This,’ she hisses, ‘could kill her. Where did she get it?’
    ‘Her daughter.’
    ‘Stupid bloody woman. Jesus Christ.’ Blasphemy six, seven and eight. Although, does
bloody
count?
    Thea focuses on the piece of wood as it dances in front of her face. It’s a fragment of Thomas the Tank Engine, his little furnace and chimney.
    Cut from swearing matron to CU on jigsaw piece.
    ‘Are you listening to me?’ says Matron tiredly.
    ‘Of course. What should I do next?’
    ‘Have they all been toiletted?’
    ‘Yes,’ Thea lies.
    ‘Very good. Just keep an eye on them, then. See if they need anything – but don’t give them anything to eat or drink because then they’ll all have to
go
again, and the night girls won’t be happy if they have to toilet them twice. I’ll come round with the medication in about half an hour.’
    ‘OK.’
    As soon as Matron leaves the room they start complaining. One woman wants a biscuit, another wants sherry. The other part-time girl, Louise, comes bustling around from the laundry room and explains to Thea that the old people only have sherry at twelve forty-five on weekdays. Thea composes a shot around Louise. She’s about seventeen, plain like a scone, and fat.
    ‘You coming for a fag?’ she asks.
    ‘Yeah,’ Thea says. As they leave the room she notices a puddle forming under the chair of one of the old people. She turns her head guiltily and pretends she hasn’t seen it. They walk along the dim corridor to the staff room. Brenda and Lucy are already there, with a pot of tea and fags on the go.
    ‘How are you getting on?’ Brenda asks Thea as they sit down.
    ‘OK,’ says Thea, lighting a cigarette.
    ‘You’re a student, aren’t you?’ asks Lucy.
    ‘Just finished my degree.’
    ‘Where were you?’
    ‘Bristol.’
    ‘And now you’re living in Brighton?’
    ‘Yeah. I’m staying with my foster parents for a bit while . . .’
    ‘My Luke’s just got a place at university,’ interrupts Brenda proudly.
    ‘Really?’ says Lucy. ‘You must be so pleased.’
    ‘Yeah, well, my Bill still wants him to go in the army like he did.’
    ‘What does Luke want to do?’ Lucy asks.
    ‘He wants to be a DJ.’
    ‘That’s cool,’ Thea says.
    ‘Not when he’s living under my roof,’ Brenda snorts.
    Lucy pulls a magazine out of her bag and flicks through it. She starts talking to Brenda about some plate she wants to buy and hang on her wall. Then Brenda takes out her false teeth and talks about denture cream. Thea composes a shot or two around them, but they are unsatisfactory subjects. There are a few old