caring the moment he stopped breathing?â
Were they still talking about Stefano? Echoes of their own painful past rippled through his words. Her voice shook as she raised it in return. âCaring? I cared too much! And look where it got me. Alone! Alone and having to raise two children. And all becauseâ¦â
His jaw dropped. âBecause what,â he said, his tone dangerously low in the quiet kitchen.
She couldnât speak for a few moments as tears clogged her throat, making it almost unbearably tight. They had never spoken of it. The day that Jace had walked away from her had been the most painful of her life. Through the years sheâd put it to the side, wishing to have her old friend back, knowing it wasnât worth losing him altogether. Only that wasnât possible. The past wouldnât wash away like Matteoâs chalk drawings in a spring shower. Her voice took on a raw edge of hurt. âIt doesnât matter now. None of it matters anymore. What was my life is no more. Thatâs all there is to it.â
Jace took two long steps until he was before her again. He placed both of his large hands on either side of her cheeks. âHow?â he demanded. âHow could you have let this happen?â
He was blaming her.
Sheâd already blamed herself enough. But as she looked up into Jaceâs angry eyes, she was struck by a new truth.
Losing Stefano hadnât broken her heart. But being faced with Jaceâs condemnationâhis disappointmentâa second time just might.
Anna stepped away and out of his hands. How dare he ask such a thing? Had he no feelings for her at all?
Her voice shook as she answered him, despite how she tried to keep herself together. She wanted him to understand, but trying to say the words without letting her emotions take over proved more difficult than sheâd imagined.
âDo you think I wanted this for myself? Do you think this is how I pictured my life turning out? I promise you, itâs not.â She took a deep breath, forcing herself to look him in the eyes and to stop wringing her hands. Sheâd never been that kind of woman. Not untilâ¦it didnât matter now. Sheâd grown up. Sheâd faced rejection more times than she could count and sheâd always bounced back. She raised her chin. âI have left my homeâthe home I lived in most of my lifeâand have dragged my children to the back of beyond to escape the pitying looks. When I married Stefano I did not think it would end a handful of years later with me a widow bringing up two small children alone.â
The kitchen echoed with silence. When Jace finally spoke, the disappointment in his voice made a weight settle in the pit of her stomach. âYou were always the smart one. The cautious one. Alex and I would get into trouble and you would be sensible. And yetâ¦of all of us, youâve been the oneâ¦â He extended his hand, imploring her.
She stepped away, her chin flattened with disappointment that he should think so little of her. âThe one what? Always in trouble? Always a mess for you and Alex to clean up?â The lump in her throat grew exponentially. She knew sheâd failed at her marriage, and nearly as a parent. But knowing sheâd somehow failed with Jace, knowing sheâd let him down again , cut her so deeply her stomach tightened in response. Sheâd wanted him to understand about Stefano without her having to spell it all out. But after the day sheâd had, she simply didnât have the energy to get into all the dirty little details.
âI shouldnât have come here.â
His sigh was heavy as he ran a hand through his thick hair. âWhere else would you have gone?â
That stung. She knew sheâd been light on options but having it pointed out wasnât kind. But sheâd be damned if sheâd stay and let him insult her, belittle her. He understood
Janwillem van de Wetering