Breaking Skin Read Online Free PDF Page A

the last time he was here, and I promised not to work on it until he comes back again. The promise was unnecessary because I don’t intend to cut a single piece of wood or hammer one nail without my son by my side. I wish he could be with me all the time, but thanks to Celeste, that’s not possible anymore.
    Staying married to Celeste for Derek’s sake was a sacrifice I was willing to make, but my ex-wife didn’t feel the same way. When my hockey career ended, I had a feeling she wouldn’t stick around. I saw the writing on the wall.
    She moved on to a teammate of mine because she didn’t intend to lose the good life she had, filled with parties, cheering fans, and championships. Celeste wants the limelight. She doesn’t want CT scans and rehab, or fans who move on to other players in the blink of an eye. Instead of being supportive, she was angry at me because I got hurt and her life changed.
    Now Celeste and Luke, my former right defenseman, are getting married. Derek spends half his time with them and the other half with me. If I think about it too hard, it burns me up and makes me want to do something drastic, like take Derek and run. But I can’t do that. He needs his mother. So I try not to think about it and instead make my time with Derek count. Celeste was a mistake, but because of her I have Derek, and I could never think of him as a mistake.
    Before going back upstairs, I clean up from last night, wash out the wineglasses and put the plates that held our takeout Thai food in the dishwasher. When I toss the cartons in the garbage, I spot the empty bottle of wine sitting at the bottom of the pail. I know we didn’t finish the wine last night, and I left the bottle on the counter before we went upstairs. Now it’s empty and lying in the garbage.
    Did Renee come back down and drink it after I fell asleep? Was that why she looked tipsy before she left?
    I press my lips together as I push the pail back under the sink and wonder what demons are chasing Renee, not that I can ask her. She wants me inside her body but not her life. It’s for the best since Renee needs more than I can give her.
    I reach for my phone and pull up my schedule. I’m supposed to pick Derek up this afternoon, but I can’t remember what time. It’s in my phone, along with everything else I can’t afford to lose track of. Sometimes trying to recall things is like grasping a tiny thread, frayed at the end and unraveling more each day.
    One day it will become so bare that it slips from my fingertips and disappears entirely.

 
    T he beeping of my cell phone drags me out of a deep sleep, and the first thing I’m aware of is hot, dank breath moistening my cheek.
    What the hell? It takes a moment to orient myself, but once I do, I smile. Siegfried.
    I turn off the alarm on my phone as Siegfried jumps down to the floor. The sound of a seventy-pound dog hitting the hardwood makes me wince when I think of my downstairs neighbors and all the new noises that must be coming from my apartment. The fact that they haven’t complained is a surprise.
    Then again, I have no idea who lives down there. I move too often to get to know my neighbors, always on the lookout for short-term cheaper rentals and ways to save money, but I respect their tolerance. I just hope it holds up, otherwise I’ll have to pack up and move again.
    You’d think the world of ballet would pay better, but I barely make enough to live on. Every dollar I can save counts, which is why buying a dog was a really dumb idea. But I can’t seem to care when Siegfried licks my face and brings a slobbery tennis ball back to me.
    Now that I’m awake, Siegfried is undoubtedly sitting by his bowl in the kitchen, waiting for his breakfast. With him out of the room, it’s perfectly quiet, as if the rest of the world is asleep the way I should be so early on a Sunday morning. But I’m excited to get to the youth center today. I always look forward to going, but today is different because