barely works most of the time."
"There's caffeine in tea as well."
"I know. Good job I'm not touching that poison either."
"I don't have any herbal tea, like."
"No worries. I'm just having water."
"From the kettle?"
"Boiling kills impurities and helps get rid of some of the nasty chemicals the government pumps into our reservoirs."
"Of course, yeah." Brian had started thinking that Tony was on some sort of diet. It didn't take the guy too long to show his conspiracy theorist side. There was enough crazy in Brian's life; he didn't need to attract more.
"Where do you keep the coffee, then?"
Brian pointed to the cupboard closest to the kettle. Tony whipped the door open. Something teetered at the edge of the top shelf. Brian stood up but he was too far away to do anything about the tumbling jar. Then Tony snatched it out of the air and sat it safely on the countertop. It was an old jar of decaf Brian had never been able to stomach. No big deal if it had smashed, just a clean-up. But Brian couldn't be anything but impressed by Tony's reaction time. He'd assumed the dealer's brain was even muddier than his own. Evidently not.
"How'd you do that, man?"
Tony looked over his shoulder, one eye slightly wider than the other. "Do what?"
"You caught that jar."
"I'm like The Matrix. There is no jar."
Brian didn't get half of what this guy said, but his estimation of the tubby dealer's worth inched upwards.
"What are you doing after you drink your... boiled water?"
"I better head back to the house, make sure they didn't come back and burn it to the ground."
"You want me to come with you?"
Tony turned all the way around. Both eyes were as wide as portholes. If he were a cartoon his pupils and irises would have formed little heart shapes.
"Would you do that, Brian? Really?"
Would he?
Well the offer was out there now. He could hardly take it back.
"Yeah, of course. You might need..." not back-up, "...a wee hand or something."
"You're a true gentleman."
It seemed to Brian that he only ever got called a 'true gentleman' when he agreed to doing something he didn't really want to do. And he knew what that really made him.
A true fucking mug.
Just a Little Bit Closer
––––––––
O wen tugged at the hem of his woollen cap. Its purpose was two-fold; to keep his shaved head warm and conceal his ruined ear. He drew enough attention by being taller and broader than the average Joe. No point making a police sketch artist's job even easier.
He stepped up to the automatic doors and they swished open. Warm air blasted down on him from an overhead blow-heater. The petrol station boasted a fair-sized supermarket with an off-licence and deli counter. And he could smell coffee in the overheated air. Owen followed his nose to a large vending machine and chose a latte. His disposable cup wasn't set dead centre under the stream and he burnt the back of his hand trying to slide it into place. He cursed and licked the stung skin.
The minor misfortune of the scalding made smiling a slightly tougher challenge, but he managed to stretch his lips into something bordering on approachable before he went to the till. The cashier was a pretty little chick: dark-haired, dark-eyed and somehow made the dark polyester uniform look good. Maybe a little on the pale side for his tastes. A small badge named her as Rachel.
He played his hand.
"Are you Barry O'Hare's daughter?"
Her dark eyes narrowed in catlike scrutiny. "If you're asking, you must be pretty sure I am."
"Ach, Rachel. He talks about you a lot. Misses you, you know?"
"No, I don't know. And I don't know you either."
"I did a little bit of work for your da recently."
"Right."
"Did he collect his insurance cheque yet?"
Her eyes narrowed further. Almost closed. She tilted her chin upwards.
"You know, for the fire at the timber yard?" Owen blew a flat note through his bottom teeth. "I heard there was an investigation. I'd bet good money that it was ruled accidental in the