Breaking Dawn Read Online Free PDF

like this is the me I always wanted to be. I wonder what Perry will think of this new me. But I feel too good and I don’t want Perry to ruin my mood. I am fairly certain he is still angry with me; and Perry can carry a grudge for a long time. I know this from experience. Even best friends get angry with each other from time to time.
    When the bus arrives and those narrow doors creak open, the driver gives me the usual indifferent stare. But I feel an innerconfidence that I’m sure everyone notices as I walk down the narrow aisle towards Perry. I hover, hesitating by the free seat next to him.
    ‘Is this seat taken?’ I ask, as if he were a stranger.
    He forces out a weak smile and shakes his head. ‘This is still your seat.’
    I sit down next to him. I feel a little uncomfortable, but I want to clear the air. I don’t want him to be mad at me and I don’t want to feel guilty.
    ‘As friends go… I know I’ve sucked lately and I’m sorry.’
    He shrugs, ‘I’m over it. I don’t have the energy to be mad any more.’
    ‘My energy’s pretty depleted too.’ I am relieved we can move on. We can at least act as though there was never a problem between us.
    We talk on through the stops but when it comes to Brian’s house, Perry gets quiet. I try to appear indifferent as Brian boards the bus. He keeps his eyes on me the entire time, smiling as he makes his way down the aisle. He sits a few seats behind us, next to Gary. I have to fight an urge to run back and sit across from him. I want to so bad! But Perry would never forgive me if I abandoned him on the bus too.
    Over the following few weeks, and even through the Christmas break, balancing my relationships with Perry and Brian is a struggle. At times I feel pretty high on life, with two handsome boys demanding my attention. What girl wouldn’t enjoy that? With Perry, it is always just the two of us, solitary teeny-boppers, messing around and having fun. With Brian, I am slowly working my way into his clique – the popular kids. Perry hates the popular kids.
    As I start to socialise with Brian’s clique more, I begin to feel an invisible wall come between Perry and me. I can’t even talk about any of my new friends without awisecrack or downright insult from Perry. Eventually, when I get the hint – well, several hints – that he doesn’t want to talk about any of my new friends, I don’t talk much about anything. I don’t know what to talk about. It’s almost as if I’ve completely forgotten the things that Perry and I used to enjoy talking about and doing together. My mind is always on the fun I have with Brian and my new friends. Perry has become more of a guilty obligation than anything.
    I can’t recall exactly when this change of feeling occurred. The feelings that I thought I would have forever with Perry were suddenly diminishing. Although I still love him and want him in my life, I’ve become tired of constantly choosing between my friends and him, and watching what or who I talk about around him. My only wish is for everyone to get along, so we can all hang out together and I can stop dividing up all my time and energies. Perry won’t hear of it though. He just won’t consort with Brian or his friends in any way, manner, shape or form.
    I am exhausted.
    One day, I am over at Perry’s house – a very rare event, but his mom is off with a boyfriend for the weekend and he has the house to himself. It is a nice house on the outside, but the inside could really use some work. I know Perry tries his best to keep his house from looking like a pig sty. His mom definitely doesn’t care. Perry has more burdens than a fifteen-year-old should have to bear. But at least with his mom gone for the weekend, he is free to be himself.
    I’ve brought a bag of groceries over for us to share since his mom hasn’t left him any money and the fridge is nearly empty. Actually, I guess the fridge would be considered full if I counted all the spoiled foods that